Saturday, July 31, 2010

Fetal Freddy is F***ed Up

Mini Mayor with Fetal Freddy

Dear Webmaster of Humid Beings,

Would it be too much to ask you to take down my post, "Money, Money, Money, Money, MONEY!"? I was not myself when I wrote it and I'm really regretting it especially since Ken Luneau chewed me out.  It's just that my boss (he loves it when I call him The Boss or The Bossman or Boss Jacques), well he has such a hard time with all the people who attack him.  I mean, you'd think he was evil or something.  Well he was going on and on about this one particular website that's been asking about my timesheet and then he started talking about how greedy those guys from EMS were.  I mean, it's like the EMS guys weren't grateful just to have worked with and seen the greatness of The Boss.  Some people will go their whole lives and not meet someone with half the intelligence and greatness of Boss Jacques.  I'm lucky enough to have done it and I'm lucky enough to realize how lucky I am.  Ever since that first time when The Bossman shared his Jesus Juice with me in that Diet Coke can, I've known how special my life has become.  Oh how I wish I could spend more time with The Boss sipping Jesus Juice from his Diet Coke can.  In fact, The Boss and I were sipping some Jesus Juice out of the Diet Coke can before I wrote that Money post and that's probably what got my thoughts so mixed up.  Kinda lost my filter and let my guard down, you know?  Anyway, if you could just take it down so Big Kahuna Kenny will leave me alone, I'd appreciate it.

Yours humbly and humidly,

Fetal Freddy

Friday, July 30, 2010

Quasimodo 2011

Quasi 2011

We haven't talked about Quasi in a while, but he's been makin some noise about Smart Alex which is a handout to some FORS (Friends of the RoyS).  Quasi also been spending time defaming Betty Jones.  Quasi is as useless as every other Mini Mayor gold digger.  So, enjoy this Friday afternoon glimpse into the future of Quasi.

Employees Do Fear Reprisal

Mini Mayor's Two Mouths
Mini Mayor is a lying hypocrite.  Mini Mayor was talking the other day about how employees shouldn't fear reprisals for afterhours activities.  Yeah, OK, whatever.  Here's what Alexandria employees do fear:

Speaking out against Mini Mayor about anything

Calling into a radio station that Mini Mayor watches like R. Kelly watches kids at a daycare

Publicly speaking out about Fetal Freddy blogging all day at work and taxpayers paying for it

Publicly discussing the sleeping around at city hall and Mini Mayor's affairs

Publicly discussing the messed up Half Moon Productions movie "deal" and the utter stupidity of Bill Hess

Publicly talking about Ken Luneau and Mini Mayor ghost writing articles and editorials for the Clan of the To-To

Publicly disclosing the messed up details of the HIP deal

Publicly speaking out on Mini Mayor's staff free lunch program paid for by taxpayers

Publicly speaking out about Mini Mayor's backroom meetings with Cleco

Revealing details of the messed up closed door meetings of the city council

We could go on, but you get the point.  Mini Mayor wanted Fetal Freddy to print that hit piece on EMS, but when Ken Luneau found out about it, they shut it down.  Listen to what Fetal Freddy is telling you.  That is what Mini Mayor is saying to Fetal Freddy.  It was no mistake what Fetal Freddy wrote.  It would be a mistake if any Alexandria employee wrote something less than worshiping His Most High and Hopeless Mini Mayor.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Voter Registration Numbers From

Jacques Barack loves and respects all of our fellow Cenla bloggers who don't work for Mini Mayor.  And we really like this exclusive news from

No time for debate,
Let's end the hate.
Give Kenny a shock,
Don't vote for Jacques.

Are You Doing Enough?

Are you tired of paying Fetal Freddy to harass Alexandria citizens and spew hate from his blog?  Here's what you need to do:

1 - Vote in our poll to the right.

2 - Email Mini Mayor at or call 449-5000 and leave a message with Anita Boddie that Fetal Freddy should be fired.

If we don't demand a change, there will never be a change.

Mini Mayor Has The Red Ass

Mini Mayor's existence requires your submission.  You must love the Mini Mayor.  He is the sole reason for your existence.  You must worship the Mini Mayor.  A moment with Mini Mayor is seeing the face of God.  Hey, Jacques, we say get over your little self.  You are a little, little, little man afflicted with a bad case of self-love.

Mini Mayor would love to shut down Jacques Barack.  The fact that we get 5 times the traffic of Fetal Freddy's Freakshow Blog and that we expose Mini Mayor's many shortcomings is too much for little Mini Mayor.  Of course, Mini Mayor still has Faithful Fetal Freddy by his side.  The only people who feel comfortable around Mini Mayor are people who hate themselves, so what does that say about Fetal Freddy?  He gets to listen to Mini Mayor foaming at the mouth about Jacques Barack.  Good thing Fetal Freddy enjoys all of Mini Mayor's bitching, he's gonna hear a lot more of it.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Day Three: Lift Your Voices

Jacques Barack has been preparing y'all to stand up for a better Alexandria. Well, what better time than now? A member of Mini Mayor's staff took the liberty of dissing people who have been trying to help this city. This same person, Fetal Freddy, attacked Von Jennings earlier this month.

This isn't what we want city hall to be. We want good people of character working at city hall. We want people who are interested in serving the community, not tearing it apart. Please, no more attacks. And it's time for someone in Mini Mayor's circle to stand up and be held accountable. If enough of us demand it, Mini Mayor will have to listen.

So today we call on our local blogging community to condemn the heinous actions of Fetal Freddy and to ask Mini Mayor to fire him. And we ask our readers to email Mini Mayor at or call 449-5000 and leave a message with Anita Boddie that Fetal Freddy should be fired. If we don't demand a change, there will never be a change.

Shout Out To wesawthat

This is a shout out to wesawthat, a friendly local blogger who was the first to notice us and reads us all the time. It's been a long time comin', but thanks for the mad props. Keep up the good work!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Day Two - Fire The Trust Fund Freak

If there is a poster child for the dysfunction of the Mini Mayor Administration, it is Fetal Freddy. This trust fund freak lives in a McGovernite fantasyland where unicorns roam the gently sloping hills, eating up cancer and defecating skittles for everyone to enjoy. This trust fund freak thinks he is the highest form of intellectual consciousness. He thinks his s*** and Mini Mayor's s*** really is skittles. In reality he is a leech. He costs Alexandria taxpayers $60,000 per year to be Mini Mayor's bitchy little mouthpiece. We are tired of it. We want some accountability from Mini Mayor's Administration. We call on Mini Mayor to fire Fetal Freddy if only to save $60,000 in the Alexadnria budget. Of course, if Fetal Freddy was any kind of man, he would offer his resignation to Mini Mayor today.  Then he could buy his unicorn dolls with his own money, not ours.  What do you think? Vote in our poll.

Poll Results


Yes. 6 (33%)

No. 9 (50%)

No opinion. 3 (16%)

Votes so far: 18
Poll closed

Mini Mayor's Attack Drunk

attack drunk /n./: a person noted for harsh, personal, and usually public verbal attacks against others . Example: The mayor sent his attack drunk to defame his former clients and current political opponents.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Jacques Barack Collaborative Housekeeping

We've decided to peel back the onion layer.  We don't blog for a living, so this schedule has been tough on us (some more than others).  In the next week or so you're going to see some new posters.  You've already read their stuff because these folks have always been contributors to the Jacques Barack collaborative, but we've decided it's time to give them their own voice (and ability to post).  Dealing with all of these emails and making edits is a tough job, so this should help reduce some workload going forward.  Another thing is we want more help from you our reader.  You are part of the Jacques Barack collaborative.  When we started we didn't know how other folk would react to Jacques Barack.  All in all it's been positive so we've also decided that we're going to add a blogroll to our site.   We admit there was a difference of opinion and some debate about who to add or not add, but we decided the good of who we added outweighed the bad.  We just hope that everybody can stop using racial epithets.  We don't use them and we hope nobody else does.  We hope that we can work with these bloggers to bring positive change to the Alexandria area.

Fire Fetal Freddy

An open letter to Mini Mayor:

Dear Mini Mayor,

If you have any integrity left in your administration, you will fire Fetal Freddy.  Now.  That is all.

Yours truly,

Jacques Barack

Fetal Freddy Freakazoid

Fetal Freddy Gettin' His Freak On

I'll be your freakazoid, come on and wind me up.

Man, Fetal Freddy was pouring it on thick the other night.  You could read about the meltdown yesterday on centrallapolitics.  Mini Mayor's fanboi thought he could hit the rewind button and pull his bull**** post.  Well, Fetal Freddy, there ain't no rewind button for you cause your post is still up on's blogger portal.  Fetal Freddy is a "Humid Being" so his original post went there through an RSS feedburner.  Real nice, Fetal Freddy, attack the two people who your boss, Mini Mayor, rode to fame and then dropped like 40 oz. on the way into church.  Real nice attacking councilman Lawson.  Fetal Freddy would have fit in real nice with Bull Connor or Idi Amin.  And Mini Mayor wonders why nobody likes him?

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Don't Forget to Vote

Do you think we've had good mayor's in the past?  Let us know.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Who Wants A Better Alexandria?

If you want a better Alexandria, you have to fight for it.  Time to break the chains.


Alexandria in Chains

Alexandria is Being Pimped

False Prophet


Remain Awake

Are you ready to fight for a better Alexandria?

Friday, July 23, 2010

A Funny For Shirley

Shirley Sherrod could use a laugh.  Especially at the President and Fox News expense.

A Friday Funny For Fetal Freddy

It's Friday, peoples!  Time for a laugh and Fetal Freddy could really use a laugh.

A Bright Idea From A Reader

Did you know Jacques Barack readers are the best and brightest?  It's a fact.  You have to be very intelligent to read Jacques Barack.  You're reading us, so you know this fact.  One of our readers had a bright idea.  If Fetal Freddy won't show us his timesheet, why don't somebody just get it with a public records request?  Anybody interested?  All emails welcome!  We could all have a lot of fun with this.

Day Four: Fetal Freddy Ain't Blogging And Nobody Noticed

Silence is golden.  Fetal Freddy ain't blogging and the world is a better place.  No wonder Fetal Freddy's traffic numbers are down.  He's lazy.  Just like Mini Mayor and everybody in Mini Mayor administration.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Day Three and No Timesheet From Fetal Freddy

Where is it?  C'mon Freddy.  What you hidin?  You ain't showed us your traffic numbers either.  You are like everything Mini Mayor.   Talk, talk, talk.  Blame everybody else for your problems.  And when it comes time for you to fess up?  Silence.  Just think of what we might find on that timesheet.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Life Lessons From Shirley Sherrod

Have you ever done anything wrong?  Have you ever felt guilt, even when you helped people?
Sherrod can be heard telling an audience at a March 27, 2010, appearance before a local chapter of the NAACP that she had not given a white farmer "the full force of what I could do" to help him save the family farm.
Sometimes the kindest and most giving peoples cannot escape feelings of inadequacy or feelings that they didn't do enough.  Some people call this White Guilt.  Believe it or not, African Americans like Shirley Sherrod experience the same feelings of guilt.  Here is what the farmer had to say
Meanwhile, the farmer referenced in the clip told CNN he credits Sherrod with helping his family save their farm.
"I don't know what brought up the racist mess," Roger Spooner told CNN's "Rick's List." "They just want to stir up some trouble, it sounds to me in my opinion."
Spooner says Sherrod accompanied him and his wife to a lawyer in Americus, Georgia, who was able to help them file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, which ultimately saved their farm.
"If it hadn't been for her, we would've never known who to see or what to do," he said. "She led us right to our success."
Shirley Sherrod was only guilty of feelings of inadequacy.  This poor woman has been swept up in the national race debate and she was only helping people.
Spooner's wife, Eloise, remembered Sherrod as "nice-mannered, thoughtful, friendly; a good person."
She said that when she saw the story of the tape and Sherrod's resignation on television, "I said, 'That ain't right. They have not treated her right.' "
We can all learn from this lesson, though.
Sherrod defended herself in a number of interviews Tuesday, saying her controversial comments were taken out of context. She had, she said, used a personal experience from nearly a quarter century ago in which she confronted her own racism and learned to move beyond it.
We can all confront our own racism and learn to move beyond it.

We Have Our Work Cut Out For Us


  23 (51%)
  18 (40%)
No opinion.
  4 (8%)

Votes so far: 45
Poll closed 

Thanks for voting.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Fetal Freddy Playbook Used On Mini Mayor

Just like a rich, spoiled kid to be tramplin on the Constitution.  Look, Fetal Freddy, in this country you are innocent until proven guilty.  But what do you go off and do?  Calling people cowardly bigots.  Start accusing people of things and issuing ultimatums that they are guilty unless they publicly deny your accusations.  You really are a messed up little freak.  Simon Legree, Hitler, Stalin, Bull Connor, Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il, Mini Mayor and Fetal Freddy.  That's bad company, punk.

Maybe Mini Mayor would like a taste of Fetal Freddy's medicine.  Using Fetal Freddy's playbook, here are some things we will believe until Mini Mayor publicly denies them.  Just remember, we fightin Fetal Freddy's fire with a little fire of our own.  If you can't stand the heat in the kitchen (ask your momma for the rest, we're tired of giving your dumb*** free advice).

1 - Mini Mayor received money under the table from Cleco or Cleco shareholders to drop the lawsuit.

2 - Mini Mayor knew about all of the levee deficiencies long before he was mayor.

3 - Mini Mayor was the levee board attorney because of his family connections in Avoyelles Parish.

4 - Mini Mayor's dad is the levee board attorney because of his family connections in Avoyelles Parish.

5 - Mini Mayor's brother tried to cut St. Landry parish out of the levee board power structure to gain more Roy family influence over the corrupt levee board.

6 - Mini Mayor has had sexual relations with his Chief Operating Officer also known as Kay Cell.

7 - Mini Mayor has had sexual relations with a lot more than Kay Cell and his wife.

8 - Mini Mayor and his family and friends have received personal gifts from HIP in exchange for rewarding the bid to HIP.

9  - Mini Mayor will not sue Rapides Regional for cutting the Bayou Phillips Levee because Mini Mayor's wife rakes in a salary of over $100,000 from the Rapides Foundation.

10 - Mini Mayor has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

11 - Mini Mayor has a family history of alcoholism and mental illness.

12 - Mini Mayor takes anti-psychotic medication to function normally on a daily basis.

13 - Mini Mayor visits a therapist monthly to deal with his mental disorders.

The next mayor briefing would be a great time for Dr. Evil to let Mini Mayor deny these truths.  We hope Fetal Freddy is sitting in Mini Mayor's lap as Mini Mayor sets the record straight.  Dr. Evil with one arm up Mini Mayor's back and Fetal Freddy sittin in his lap.  Priceless.

Fatman Mini Mayor and Fetal Freddy

Monday, July 19, 2010

Gary Busey Business 101 Tips For HIP

Another helpful PSA from your friends at Jacques Barack. Gary Busey offers this advice to Roland Fontaine, David Rau and Paul Cooper.

Important Poll Closes Today

Thank you to everybody who already voted. If you haven't already, take a moment to vote in our important poll.

Fetal Freddy Show Us Your Timesheets

Fetal Freddy, show us your timesheets.  We want to see what you've been working on for city taxpayers.  Just post your timesheets on your blog then peoples will have a reason to look at your blog.  And don't hide behind Mini Mayor.  You can release your timesheets.   We're still waiting on your traffic numbers too.  You did see our traffic post right?  Let's see them blog boi.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Mini Mayor Hollywood

Mini Mayor was in Hollywood recently trying to drum up movie business for Alexandria.  Here is Gary Bussey's reaction

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Friday, July 16, 2010

Mini Mayor's Spending Restraint

Answer:  What is 'Doesn't Exist', Alex.

Alex Trebek:  Correct!

In other news, Gary Busey has just been told that Mini Mayor will save your tax dollars.

The Avon Lady Is Here!

With a whole new batch of black face for Mini Mayor!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Mini Mayor Excuse For Nothing

What has Mini Mayor done the last 4 years? The last 9 months? Gary Busey explains.

Reader Mail:

At least this reader gets it:

Read your blog everyday.  Thank you for the post, "Fear of a Black Mayor" where you listed the status quo:
We might find that our levees are actually crap. CHECK. Mini Mayor worked at the levee board when these things happened. His father works there now. Mini Mayor's wife works for the Rapides Foundation and it was Rapides Regional who cut one of the levees. 
We could be forced to close our downtown hotels. CHECK. Mini Mayor chose a group of nobodies for the downtown deal. His legal team is not telling us about the challenges from Capital One. To top it off, the HIP guys are looking for looking funding! If the local funding existed, locals would have done the deal.
We could be forced to pay high utility bills. CHECK. Mini Mayor negotiated the deal with Cleco. Why don't we have our rebates yet?
We might never get any drainage projects completed in this town.  CHECK.  Mini Mayor wants to use our funds to fix the problems that his levee board created.
It might take 4 years to complete any road extensions.  CHECK.  Sugarhouse road?  Probably never.  Versailles?  It was started before Mini Mayor took office.  Still waiting!
There's nothing going on in this town.  How much worse could it actually get?  Mini Mayor has proven he can't get anything done and he tries to turn everyone's attention away by blaming others for his failures.  So I would say that Mini Mayor not only can't solve problems, he creates and profits from them!

Well said.  Anyone else with comments, send them to

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A Message From Colin Powell

Hello.  My friends at Jacques Barack wanted me to say a few words to you.  There is an important mayor's race in Alexandria and it will chart the course for Alexandria for the next decade.  I gave a speech back on October 19, 2008 where I said, "...we have got to say to the world, it doesn't make any difference who you are or what you are, if you're an American, you're an American….[W]e have got to stop this kind of nonsense, pull ourselves together and remember that our great strength is in our unity and in our diversity."

These words are just as true for Alexandria as they are for America.  I know many Alexandrians find it difficult to vote for an African American candidate, but I ask you to look not at the color of the candidate's skin, but what he or she stands for.  Alexandria's current mayor is a divisive, highly partisan man who has accomplished nothing in his 4 years.  That is not what Alexandria needs.  When team members are always fighting with one another, the competition wins.  In the last 4 years, do you think that Alexandria's status has improved as compared to Lafayette, Monroe, or Shreveport?  Alexandrians must work together to achieve greater things.  I encourage you to ask yourself which candidate will work the best with his or her peers.  Which candidate can actually get things like drainage projects done?  Then you will have your answer.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Fear Of A Black Mayor

Just think of what could happen if a black mayor were elected instead of Mini Mayor?

We might find that our levees are actually crap.
We could be forced to close our downtown hotels.
We could be forced to pay high utility bills.
We might never get any drainage projects completed in this town.
It might take 4 years to complete any road extensions.

Wait!  We already have all of these problems and we've had one white mayor after another runnin this town into the ground.  There's no reason to fear a black mayor.  And don't give us any crap about it being the black council's fault.  The mayor runs things in this town.  Always has, always will.  The mayor makes the budget.  The mayor pays the bills.  The mayor hires the people.  But you know what we don't have?  We don't have any black ladies runnin the show.  Maybe its time we got one.

JB Readers Respect Matrimonial Bonds

Does Mini Mayor or his staff?


Cheating on pregnant wife
  24 (88%)
Political parody of fundraising wife
  3 (11%)

Change your vote
Votes so far: 27
Poll closed

Monday, July 12, 2010

Is Alexandria Ready For A Black Mayor?


Would you rather listen to Al Jolson or Louis Armstrong?  Why would any performer paint their face black?  Insulting, people.  We've had 4 years of a guy who thinks he's black but he ain't.  Looks, peeps, we don't have any guilt about being black cause we're black.  Done deal.  No worries.  And we know Mini Mayor even looks down on black folk.  That's insulting.  Guess we're not good enough for Mini Mayor and his black cosmetics.  Y'all do know Mini Mayor is a Democrat, right?  Y'all do know Mini Mayor voted for Mr. Obama, right?  So why vote for Mini Mayor when you can have the real thing?  Why vote for Mini Mayor when you can elect a mayor who just might spend your money wisely or  let you keep more of your hard earned money?  You already know Mini Mayor wastes your money and doesn't accomplish anything.  On October 2nd, vote for the real thing.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

The Company Of Losers

There aint any helping some people.  Fetal Freddy is hopeless and he got the biggest bunch of losers as friends.  Here's what we think they are saying today:

(BRIAN)  Alcohol leads to cerebral palsy!  What will that coward Jacques Barack say next?  Sex with prostitutes leads to venereal disease?  I can't believe these cowards!  It's a good thing Lamar sucked up to Mayor Roy and got that job or else he'd have to compete in the blogosphere with animals like Jacques Barack.  When will THESE PEOPLE learn?  This reminds me of that time we were at college and ran out of money in that bad part of Memphis.  Eeeww!  I wish more black people could be like Bill Cosby or Will Smith.

(Tim)  Lamar, don't listen to that noise.  I know alcohol can be bad and all but its made living with my girlfriend MUCH easier.  Especially since she has a cat that pisses all over the bed.  The more I drink, the less I smell!  LOL!  Two Heineken please!

(Eli)  If you need to talk to anybody, Lamar, I'm here.  Just call night or day!  I know Jacques Barack is addictive and funny, but you need to ignore it!

(Alex Cenla)  Lamar, I just wanted to check in and act like I cared about you but talk about myself (man, like, only you and my mother are reading my blog and you only check in once a week so please check in more often).  Anyway, I know that being anonymous and calling out others for being anonymous is kinda like saying my farts don't stink, but you know what?  My farts don't stink.  And you have to admit that's pretty awesome.  That's right, I'm Alex Cenla and I'm completely awesome.  I know it.  Smartest and funniest person I know is me.

(Varg)  Jacques Barack is a traitor to their race!  This doesn't do THEM any good.  Why can't more black people be like Will Smith or Djimon Hounsou?  Those are really cool black people.  Lamar, you and Jacques have more in common with MLK than the people behind Jacques Barack.  You and Jacques are spiritual soulmates of MLK and Jacques Barack is Bull Connor.  I mean, Jacques would NEVER lie about a diversity program.  Has Jacques ever told a lie?  I don't think so!  And Jacques has the best interests of black peoples and Von doesn't!  If your black and want a good life, vote for Jacques!  Jacques is the Great White Father!  Jacques is the black man's only hope!  He will lead you!  He will lead you!  Listen to me!

Hey, Fetal Freddy, You Can't Hide

We saw what you did with that Halle photo!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Fetal Freddy Looks Happy, But

It's just the alcohol!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Fetal Freddy had a BLAST drinking his O'Doul's at the Mini Mayor campaign kick-off.  Good for you, Fetal Freddy!  Hope you work that headache off.  We glad to see you over coming yo challenges and having a good time.  How was the women at the Mini Mayor gala?  Bet you didn't see anything like this

Too bad you never will!  Enjoy your pathetic little blog!

How Was Your Friday, Fetal Freddy?

Friday is one of our slowest days, but we did aight. Fetal Freddy, we were man enough to show you ours. Why don't you show us yours?

Page LoadsUnique VisitorsFirst Time VisitorsReturning Visitors
DayDatePage LoadsUnique VisitorsFirst Time VisitorsReturning Visitors
FridayJuly 9th 2010402275117158

Think you can measure up to the competition?

Hate To Break This To Fetal Freddy, But

Hate to break this to you Fetal Freddy, but drinking and smoking have been cited as causes of cerebal palsy.  Don't believe us?  Read causes of cerebral palsy.

Alcohol and cigarette smoking both have powerfully adverse effect on a fetus’s development and are frequently underestimated as a cause of cerebral palsy.
Fetal alcohol syndrome debilitates a number of systems and can cause microcephaly, facial dysmorphisms, severeintrauterine growth restriction, mental retardation and cerebral palsy. It has been estimated that 8% of children suffering from fetal alcohol syndrome later contract cerebral palsy. This percentage may be higher in developing nations where the abuse of alcohol may go unnoted. In addition, neuronal migration in inhibited by alcohol in the fetus and can lead to CP.

Fetal Freddy, you like to talk and write about things you don't know.  If you would like to learn more about cerebral palsy or fetal alcohol syndrome, here is the link to a very good search engine.  Try it sometime.  You might learn something even if the FAS makes you forget it later.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Keep Playin With Fire, Fetal Freddy, Keep Playin

You and Mini Mayor will learn your lesson soon enough.


New Poll


Tell us what you think.  Which is worse?  Sleeping with other women while wife pregnant or a political parody of fundraising wife?


Thursday, July 8, 2010

Would You Trust Your Daughter With This Man?

Dr. Evil.  Look at him.  Hated by mirrors worldwide.  Women have been known to cross the street just to avoid being near him.  Can't even control his own appetite, but he can control Mini Mayor.  You think Mini Mayor calls the shots?  Please, people.  Mini Mayor is a pawn in Dr. Evil's stranglehold on Alexandria.  Now Dr. Evil has begun testing on his newest experiment, Robo Ro.  A vote for Mini Mayor or Ro Jo is a vote to keep Dr. Evil and his rich cronies stranglehold on your city.  We can avoid the Apocalypse, people.  Wake up and open your eyes!  Tell Dr. Evil to stay away from your children and your city.

Mini Mayor Loses Big To David Pugh and Ro Jo

Little known fact - half of the articles that appear in the To-To are written by Dr. Evil.  Don't look surprised, people.  Wake up!  You are pawns in the petty little power games that Dr. Evil and his cronies use to keep control of Alexandria.  Do you really believe that the council is more to blame for Alexandria's sad state of affairs or is it the lazy pathological Mercedes Benz driving Mini Mayor?  If you think Myron Lawson runs the city or keeps Dr. Evil from having his way, then check yourself into a mental clinic ASAP.  And if you really think that 8000 people voted in the To-To's mayor poll, you are beyond the help of any mental care professional.  For those of you who know better, there is Jacques Barack.  We run our own independent polls.  Polls that Dr. Evil, Mini Mayor and Fetal Freddy can't manipulate without detection.


I prefer the lying unethical paranoid Mini Mayor.
  9 (15%)
I prefer David Pugh.
  50 (84%)

Change your vote
Votes so far: 59
Poll closed


I prefer the lying unethical paranoid Mini Mayor.
  11 (34%)
the dumb as Charlie Sheen Robo Ro Jo.
  21 (65%)

Change your vote
Votes so far: 32
Poll closed 

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Wendy Wednesday

It's Wednesday, so it must be time for a message from Wendy Roy.

"Hey guys, this is still "Mindy", Wendy's friend.  Wendy's been real busy with the new baby and all.  This has been a stressful time for poor Wendy.  I mean, being pregnant ain't easy and being married to Jacques ain't easy either.  The fundraiser for Jacques that she worked on didn't go well and everybody knew and then Jacques Barack posted her phone number on the website and you know the rest.  And all this while she was carrying Jacques baby and people been talkin bout Jacques and Kay and you know the rest.  And Jacques bid to be the Democratic nominee against Rodney Alexander failed and you know the rest.  And Jacques poll numbers have been real bad and now this David Pugh thing and you know the rest.  It all came to a head when Ken showed up in the delivery room and suggested that Jacques consider naming the baby Ken.  He didn't say it with a chuckle or anything.  He just had that same straight face he always has with those tinted pervert glasses he wears.  I swear he's always looking at my boobs!  Anyway, Ken had this whole your first born belongs to me attitude and Jacques was listening to Ken like Ken was a god and Jacques was just nodding while Ken was talking and Wendy finally freaked out and started yelling that it was her baby and they both need to leave now and Jacques could just go s*** Ken's d*** somewhere else cause she didn't want to watch and you know the rest."

Will He Or Won't He?

The latest word is that Mini Mayor is going to reluctantly register his campaign for mayor. Believe us, Mini Mayor don't want to run, but it's all about saving face at this point.  Is that smirk worth saving?   Why don't you show Mini Mayor what you think of him but voting in our polls to the right.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Jacques Barack Is Extending The Polls

Qualifying for the mayor's race starts tomorrow and goes until Friday.  We're having so much fun with this that we've decided to extend the poll one more day.  If you haven't already voted (and we know there is a lot of readers not voting), then this is your time.  Vote!