Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Mini Mayor Misery Index

Welcome to our perma-poll.  We've decided to leave this poll up until election day.  From now on, when we talk about the Mini Mayor Misery Index, you know what it is.  It's also a pretty good countdown before election day.  Just 32 days left before the polls close at 8 pm on October 2nd.

His $100,000 salary
  1 (2%)
Giving CLECO the keys to the city
  10 (27%)
His $60,000 Mercedes
  1 (2%)
Talking about HIP
  0 (0%)
The late night parties at city hall
  3 (8%)
Talking about Sugarhouse Road
  1 (2%)
Avoiding men in white coats
  7 (18%)
Taking 4 years on Versailles
  1 (2%)
Gaining 20 pounds on the job
  1 (2%)
Giving $50,000 to Half Moon Productions
  1 (2%)
Avoiding responsibility for the levee breaches
  2 (5%)
Finding a job for Lamar White
  9 (24%)

Change your vote
Votes so far: 37
Days left to vote: 32 

A Month To Go And No Scheduled Debates

This is an important election.  We got a clown - a really sad unfunny clown - as mayor.  This clown mayor can't even make basic city services work.  He did not protect our levees when he worked for the Levee District.  His wife even work for the Rapides Foundation levee busters.  He could not get our money back from Cleco.  He lied about HIP.  Clown mayor has a friends and family promotional deal down at city hall.  How else Lamar got a job?  Incompetence.  Nobody does it better than Mini Mayor.  Alexandria stands of the verge of the Apocalypse.  The Horsemen are riding into town.  Can't we at least have 1 debate before we slide into the abyss?

Monday, August 30, 2010

Monday Mel

It's Monday and that means more advice from Mini Mayor's soulmate, Mel Gibson.

Jacques, I saw the council meeting from last week when you totally put the beat down on Herbert Dixon! You know what? F*** Herbert Dixon! Who does Herbert Dixon think he is finding money and not giving you the credit! Who does Herbert Dixon think he is to try to help the people of South Alexandria and not giving you the credit! Who does Herbert Dixon think he is to say he would take either option and make you look like a verbose fool! Did I say f*** Herbert Dixon yet? He actually made it look like it was possible to do something positive for the people of South Alexandria. Doesn't he know that "those people" only count at election time and then they are to be promptly forgotten? Oh, that's my other line ringing. It's Oksana and I can't wait to completely trash her little gold digging *ss! Holla back later!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Sunday Revelations

And I heard a great voice out of the temple saying to the seven angels, Go your ways, and pour out the vials of the wrath of God on the earth.

And the first went, and poured out his vial on the earth; and there fell a noisome and grievous sore on the men which had the mark of the beast, and on them which worshipped his image.

- Revelations 16.1-2

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Today Is the Party Primaries

So get out and vote people.  Consider this a warm-up for when we free ourselves of that paranoid little freak of a hairball, His Messed Up Mini Mayorness.  But before you go to the primaries, don't forget to vote in our poll.  CLECO running neck and neck with Lamar and the White Coats.


His $100,000 salary
  1 (3%)
Giving CLECO the keys to the city
  8 (25%)
His $60,000 Mercedes
  1 (3%)
Talking about HIP
  1 (3%)
The late night parties at city hall
  2 (6%)
Talking about Sugarhouse Road
  1 (3%)
Avoiding men in white coats
  6 (19%)
Taking 4 years on Versailles
  1 (3%)
Gaining 20 pounds on the job
  1 (3%)
Giving $50,000 to Half Moon Productions
  0 (0%)
Avoiding responsibility for the levee breaches
  2 (6%)
Finding a job for Lamar White
  7 (22%)

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Friday, August 27, 2010

Montana Fishburne Wants To Film In Alexandria

Heh Alexandria. Maybe y'all heard about me? I grew up in a Hollywood mansion, but I'm a round the way girl. I'm a be a big star. Fo sho. I heard about them wild parties that y'all have down at city hall in Alexandria. I like wild parties so I'm a swing by Alexandria and meet the playas down there. I heard y'all got some newly single high salary attorneys that like to throw wild parties. My manager says there's also lots of good tax credits for filming in Louisiana. My manager says we gonna make lots of money and I'm a be a big star.  Next stop on the Montana tour - Alexandria. Are you a playa? If you are, dial up the mayor and tell him you want to be in Montana's next film. There could be some coin in it for ya. I heard ya'll losing jobs down there. Don't worry, when Montana is around, there's always a job to be done.

More Paul Cooper Talking Out The Side Of His Neck

The HIP deal was dead along time ago. You heard it first here at Jacques Barack. That didn't stop Mini Mayor and Ho So from wasting your money on a trip to Arizona. Still don't believe us that HIP won't find the money to pull the deal off? Here is more Paul Cooper doing his own poop drop on the HIP deal, courtesy of The Real Estate Wonk's blog.

MARCH 28, 2010

Q&A: Paul Cooper, auctioneer

Today in the business section, we've got a Q&A with Paul R. Cooper, a vice president at Alex Cooper Auctioneers in Towson. You were all so interested to hear what he had to say in a blog Q&A a year ago that I thought you'd enjoy another conversation.
Last time, he said many home sellers weren't being realistic about asking prices. This time ... well, it's still a problem, he says. Here's the Q&A, with extra questions and answers that couldn't fit in the print edition:
Question: How’s the market for local home sellers?
Answer: It’s a challenging marketplace. But if you are priced correctly based on actual sales data, you stand a strong chance of selling your home in a short period.
Q: What’s happened to prices?
A: I’m looking at the average and median sold prices for February 2010; I had to go back to April 2005 to find a comparable month. So you can probably say our prices right now are consistent with what they were in April 2005. ... By the way, the April 2005 average and median prices were approximately 20 percent higher than April 2004, so you can appreciate the tremendous run-up in the one-year period.
Q: Some have pointed to that and argued that prices still have a ways to fall. Do you agree?
A: There is a trend line you have to get back to, and the trend line is based on CPI increases. [The Consumer Price Index is a measure of inflation.] If CPI goes up 3 percent a year, … then theoretically real estate should only go up 3 percent a year. So when it goes up 20 percent in one year, it’s elevated off the trend line. It’s an accident waiting to happen. It’s just going to fall right back to the trend line eventually.
Q: Are we there yet?
A: We’re not, because we wouldn’t have 16,000 active listings if we were back to where we should be. February 2002 average sold price: $161,600. Median sold price: $131,900. ... So considering the fact that we’re sitting here right now at $271,000 for an average and $230,000 for a median shows we’re well above these numbers. A 68 percent increase in eight years in average sale prices.
Q: Is it good or bad that the federal government is such a huge part of the mortgage market these days?
A: At this point I think it’s a good idea, because I don’t know who wants to buy our mortgage bonds after what we did to the world. We stuck them with our mortgage bonds, and they’re suffering for it. If anyone got on the phone in New York trying to market collaterized mortgage obligations, they’ll probably get hung up on. ... So the government’s going to dictate what the standards are in down payments, the minimum credit scores. For those that do not have decent credit, I do not see any opportunity to get financing. ... I hear a lot of complaining from the real estate community about trying to get deals through. Certainly from mortgage brokers about how hard they have to work to make a deal work.
Q: What about the commercial real estate market? Market watchers have said for several years that this would be the next shoe to drop.
A: Oh, it’s dropping big time. As far as commercial foreclosures, that’s accelerating quite a bit. And it’s going to probably continue to accelerate. I’ve spoken to attorneys, I’ve spoken to bankers, and they’re really trying to hold off. They don’t want to own this. They’ll do what they can. But an example, I have an office building coming up [for auction] — a major tenant just left. It was 80 percent leased; now you’re probably at 50 to 60 percent. Well, now you’re at negative cash flow, and they don’t have the check to write to the mortgage company.
Q: Are fewer people interested in buying commercial property?
A: The sales volume has gone down tremendously. ... The mortgage market fell apart in August, September of ’07, and then of course the financial marketplace fell apart in September of ’08. So the financing has deteriorated.
Q: What about the people who say, “I believe it, but that means I’m stuck here?”
A: That’s unfortunate. You feel bad for somebody in that situation. You have to have a strong degree of empathy in this job. You have to understand where the people are coming from. They made an investment that did not turn out well, and you have to understand their feelings. They’re really not happy right now. They’re upset and frustrated.
Categories: Q&A

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Von Is Fly

And if you want to meet Von, be at her campaign headquarters (1012 Third Street) for a little celebration at 6 PM tonite!

Mini Mayor's Voicemail From Yesterday

James Byrd called and said he cried.

Bull Connor called to say he needed his white sheets back.

Hitler called to say he really liked the way you put Herbert Dixon in his place. Hitler said it reminded him of the way he showed Jesse Owens who was boss.

Jesse Owens called and said haters finish last.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

This Ain't 2006...Or 2007

Roy Clan Rumormill

What are the Roy Clan gonna due now that there ain't no Republicans in the mayor's race? Mini Mayor can't possibly be blacker than any of the other candidates. Mini Mayor think he is black but he hates all black people except the dead ones that he can't argue with but instead uses their words to make hisself sound black. If you didn't know it, Mini Mayor is not the only member of the Roy Clan to hold public office. Mini Mayor has a brother. Let's call him Stumpy. In 2007 Stumpy got jealous of his little bro, Mini Mayor, and got political fever. Stumpy decided to run for state representative against a Alexandria attorney who is a member of the Pentecostals of Alexandria.

The Roy Clan will stop at nothing, including spreading false rumors about their opponents, to get what they want. Without anything between his ears to rely on, Stumpy turned to the old Roy Clan playbook - smear your opponent. A rumor was started that Stumpy's Republican opponent was homosexual. That would be a good rumor because Pentecostals tend to look down on homosexuality and it might cause fewer Pentecostals to vote for Stumpy's opponent.

Just remember, people. Whatever the Roy Clan say about they opponents, it probably ain't true. Just ask the Pentecostals of Alexandria.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Chuck Johnson Is Back On The Market

Chuck Johnson is back on the market again, ladies. But then again, the word is that Chuck Johnson was always available for the ladies or anything else that crawls. Commitment is for chumps. Wild after hours parties at city hall are much more rewarding than a successful marriage. The only question left is, who's gonna be the attorney for Chuck Johnson? Payment could be a problem after the October election. Chuck, if you gonna represent yourself, please brush up on your knowledge of the law. You can start here.

Monday, August 23, 2010

A Question For Our Catholic Readers

Is it OK for a Catholic to regularly attend a non-Catholic church? Is that cool with the pope and all?  Just asking.  We don't know, but we don't see it often so that's why we asked.   And what do Catholics do if there is sleeping around going on in the marrage?    We would appreciate if any of our Catholic readers could help us out.  You can educate us at jacquesbarack@gmail.com.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Sunday Revelations

Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.
- Revelation 2:5

I wish everyone a blessed Sunday. May these words from Scripture find a place in your heart. It is never too late to open your heart to Jesus Christ.  Check yourself.  Are you living the life of a liar?  A thief? Adulterer?  Now is the time to repent and be saved.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Vote On Mini Mayor's Greatest Accomplishments

Mini Mayor Addresses
the Hair Club For Men

Is it his charity work for Lamar?  His gift to CLECO?  His avoiding the men in white coats?  And nobody voted yet for the levee scandal or the HIP .  This is an important poll, so be sure to vote ======>

His $100,000 salary
Giving CLECO the keys to the city
His $60,000 Mercedes

Talking about HIP
The late night parties at city hall

Talking about Sugarhouse Road

Avoiding men in white coats

Taking 4 years on Versailles
Gaining 20 pounds on the job

Giving $50,000 to Half Moon Productions

Avoiding responsibility for the levee breaches

Finding a job for Lamar White

Polls are open to the right  =====================>>>>>

Friday, August 20, 2010

This Ain't 2006

Mini Mayor has a big problem.  That new car smell has worn off.    In 2006 he was unknown and came out of nowhere promising to save us from the greedy CLECO.  LOL.   Do you have your rebates yet?  In 2006 Mini Mayor faced a white female who was part of the same group of people that had been running Alexandria for decades.  White voters thought they were voting for change.  Black voters didn't have a candidate in the runoff.  But this ain't 2006.  We all know that Mini Mayor wasn't about positive change.  Mini Mayor was all about hisself.  All Mini Mayor all the time.  Good luck Mini Mayor.  The future of Alexandria is waiting for you to leave.

Mini Mayor 2006

Mini Mayor 2010

Mini Mayor 2011

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Commandante Mini Mayor

I am building the APD Armored Division and I will crush all dissent with my police state! Just ask the Michigan and New Mexico policemen how my new Police Chief treats "citizens". They don't call him Bully Tully for nothing! The next 4 years are going to be so much fun playing cops and robbers. Look out bloggers. Commandante Mini Mayor is gunning for you.

Mini Mayor Having A Bad Hair Day

Life must be pretty depressing for Mini Mayor these days. Like an endless bad hair day. Another day as Mini Mayor, another lie exposed. Ms. Bridgett Brown subpoena'd Mini Mayor on Monday night. Is Mini Mayor looking forward to telling Ms. Brown's attorney all about his lies he told us? Get ready, Alexandria, Mini Mayor will be ballin after this deposition. Does anybody think that if Ms. Brown had still been at the table she would have let Mini Mayor sellout to CLECO?

Now Mini Mayor's EMS homeboys are suing Alexandria. What's up with that? Have anybody thought that if Mini Mayor had lost 4 years ago, Alexandria could have saved millions on lawyers and consultants? There's our budget problem.

Who's gonna sue Mini Mayor next week?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Mini Mayor in Mess With EMS

Well, well, well. What do we have here? Mini Mayor's pants is on fire today. All of those lies and cheating is catching up with Mini Mayor. We know there are no rebates. His wife know about the other women. We know he lied about the levees. We know he fired Von Jennings for doing her job. We know he's lying about HIP. His Catholic peeps know he's part of Larry Love's flock.  We know he lied to Rev. Franklin about the monies.  We know he reads blogs. We know he wanted Lamar to run that hit piece on Myron Lawson and David Pugh.  Etc, etc.  The boy just lies.  That's all he know how to do.  Lie.

What has all of this lead up to? Now the people that Mini Mayor represents as a lawyer in private practice are suing Alexandria. And these people are using the contract that Mini Mayor wrote to sue the city. People, where is the ethics charges? We here at Jacques Barack will be the first in the local blogosphere to call for Mini Mayor to step down. Through his duplicity and conflicts of interest on the CLECO case and representing EMS, Mini Mayor is unfit to remain as Mayor of Alexandria. We invite the Alexandria News Weekly, our local bloggers and The Town Talk to join us in asking for Mini Mayor to resign his post in this time of great shame.

Why You Give Your Money To Paul Cooper After Reading This?

Paul Cooper is being "realistic" with the Baltimore Sun.
March 28, 2010|By Jamie Smith Hopkins | jamie.smith.hopkins@baltsun.com

  • Baltimore Sun photo by Algerina Perna
Real estate auctioneers coax buyers to pay more. These days, Paul R. Cooper also urges sellers to accept less.
Cooper, a vice president at Alex Cooper Auctioneers in Towson, one of the biggest operations of its kind in the state, says many homeowners still have inflated ideas of what their property is worth, despite four years of mostly bad news about the housing market.
Cooper, who joined his family's business 30 years ago after training as an accountant, sells everything from rowhouses to restaurants. He's a common sight at Baltimore auctions, and he also sells homes as real estate agents do - by listing them for sale and holding open houses.
He talked to The Baltimore Sun recently about the Baltimore-area housing market and what he tells people who complain that they'd be giving away their property at today's prices.
Question: So sellers don't have a handle on what their homes are worth. Why?

Answer: It's sort of this analogy: If I had not looked at the stock market prices for the past six months ... do I really know what my stock is worth? No. You need to look at current data to know what it's worth. ... You need to beat out the rest of the marketplace in pricing your home.
Q: Does that mean we're in a race to the bottom?
A: It's just being realistic. Who knows where the bottom is? ... I think prices will still be coming down, but not as quickly, and I think you're going to see accelerating volume. As long as there are 16,000 active [for-sale] listings in our area, I don't see any pressure to push prices higher. When we were at the height of the market back in 2005 ... active listings were at a little over 6,000.
Q: Why do you expect prices will keep falling?
A: We wouldn't have 16,000 active listings if we were back to where we should be. February 2002 average sold price: $161,600. Median sold price: $131,900. ... So considering the fact that we're sitting here right now at $271,000 for an average and $230,000 for a median shows we're well above these numbers. A 68 percent increase in eight years in average sale prices.
Q: How are buyers reacting?
A: They're making offers, and generally the offers are about 10 percent below the asking prices. That's been the average. If you go back, traditionally it only used to be about 5 percent under asking prices.
Q: What's the difference between prospective home buyers today and at the peak in 2005 and early 2006?
A: At the peak, everyone's perception was, "If I don't buy now, the property's going to be sold within a week, and I'm going to have to pay higher prices, so I'd better act quickly." There was a strong sense of urgency. ... Now, if you perceive property values [are] going down, you say to yourself, "Well, maybe I'll wait, maybe it'll be lower next month." And certainly there's a lot of inventory. But I do see that choice houses that are priced correctly are going quickly. When I say "choice," [I mean] something I could move into tomorrow with minimal work.
Q: Has the population of interested buyers fallen as far as sales numbers would suggest?
A: I think there's a lot of interested buyers, but they're all looking for a good deal. ... At my open houses, I have an excellent number of prospective purchasers. So there are a lot of people looking for something that's affordable and reasonably priced.
Q: Why aren't more homes selling, then?
A: They're overpriced. Plain and simple. Each marketplace, you can really dissect it.
Q: Such as?
A: I spoke to a gentleman in northwest Baltimore County near the Baltimore-Carroll County line [who was looking to sell]. ... In the $350,000 to $700,000 price range, people are moving closer to maybe Westminster, Owings Mills, closer to urban centers, which is more convenient for shopping, employment. If I have $400,000 to spend, I may not need to be in that area.
Q: How often are sellers overpricing because they're trying to get enough to pay off their mortgages?
A: That's a major problem. I can't tell you how many phone calls I have from people who tell me how much they owe on ... [property purchased] in the past five years, and I tell them, "I'm sorry, you're underwater. And unless you're prepared to write a check at settlement, there's nothing I can do."
Q: Is anyone pulling out the checkbook?
A: No. Those are the people who say, "I don't want to give it away." Quote-unquote. I say, "You're not giving it away. It's just the marketplace." If I pay $40 a share for a stock, and it's now $20 a share, is $20 giving it away? No. The market is $20. Hopefully, [real estate] is going to go up. Not in the near future, not with 16,000 active listings. So I can either hold on or sell right now, take my losses and lick my wounds.
Q: What's happening at foreclosure auctions these days?
A: Banks are discounting the properties tremendously. Banks do not want to own real estate; they really do not. So they're anxious to discount it in order to bring about a result at sale time, or if they have to buy it back, they're anxious to discount it and get it sold after they take title to the property. ... That has a negative effect in many neighborhoods.
Q: What drives you up a wall in your job?
A: You try to educate people about the marketplace, and those who are in denial frankly can be frustrating. I know the market, I know how to analyze it, I have the data. When someone tells me, "No, I don't believe it," I say, "Well, what data do you have?"