Champagne And Cocaine. And Crime.

There's nothing wrong with cocaine if you think you are one of the greatest people that ever lived. There's nothing wrong with cocaine if you think it makes you more productive.  I'm not saying those things are true, but I am saying that cokeheads always come up with some excuse that doing lines is OK.  Just like there's always an excuse for dating a woman outside your marriage.

So our unclassified city employees may be having some wild parties at city hall?  Who cares as long was the city is running right?  That's the problem.  This city isn't running right.  Why?  Because the people we elected to run the city have been partying and not working.  This is also why we've seen crime spike so high in the last few years.  When the mayor is always breaking the law, it gets more and more difficult for the police to punish behavior that is OK for some but not others.  Want a city that works and has less crime?  Then vote for a new mayor.

Mini Mayor's Dysfunctional Family of So-Called Executives

Lamar "working"

The second highest reading on the Mini Mayor Misery Index is Lamar White.  But it's not just Lamar White, its the entire dysfunctional family of city executives that Mini Mayor hired.  Do you think these people do any work?  They don't.  Kay Michiels has spent her last 6 months shaking down contractors for contributions to the Mini Mayor for Mayor campaign fund.  How else you think Mini Mayor could buy that billboard?

What is Kay Michiels' job?  Mini Mayor needs money.  No problem.  Call a bunch of city contractors.  South Alexandria needs Sugarhouse Road?  Forget about it.  But you can trust Madiba when I tell you that Kay Michiels does "work" after hours.  I hear its here best "work".

Can anybody tell me what Chuck Johnson does besides flirt with contract attorneys and run up big expense reports?  Champagne and cocaine.  Is it true that the men's restroom on the second floor of city hall says Chuck spends his PM with A.M.?  Whatever could that mean?

Mike Marcotte might as well work for CLECO.

David Crutchfield has another fulltime job and is rarely at city hall working.  Check the records if you don't believe Madiba.

Lisa Harris - Jack of all Trades, Master of None.

Lamar.  Do I even need to add anything?

And then there's Mini Mayor himself.  If a camera isn't on, he ain't "working".

How To Act At A Candidate Forum

Politically Dead Man Walking

The Men of Kappa Alpha Psi are holding a mayor's forum at city hall tonight.  We offer this advice to Mini Mayor on how to improve over the last forum where he lied and politically died. Ken Luneau charges $300 an hour for this advice, but we doing it free of charge.

1)  Show up.  This is really important.  If you want to look like you care, then attend the event.  Don't turn your nose up like you did the NAACP.

2)  Sit where you are supposed to sit.  This  shows that you have respect for your hosts and that you can follow the rules.

3)  Don't argue with the moderator.  See #2.

4)  Don't act like African Americans make you sick.  There are 4 other candidates in the mayor's race.  They are all African Americans.  You will probably have to sit next to one of them.  If you have to, grin and bear it so you don't look like the racist you are.

5)  Don't bring Bradley the Bodyguard.  He makes you look like a paranoid little freak of a hairball.  And reminds us what a coward you really are.

6) Don't have Bradley the Bodyguard throw the camaraman out the room.  See #5.

7)  Don't have Kay Cell throw the camaraman out the room with your wife there.  Very disrespectful to your wife.  Careful were your eyes are when Kay Cell walks around the room.

8)  Don't make your staff take seats from citizens who want to see the candidates.  Shows how scared and paranoid you are.

9)  Don't tell any lies.

10)  Forget 1-9.  No way you can NOT do any of this, so just skip it and start your midnight staring into the mirror a little early tomorrow night.

Monday Mel

It's Monday and that means more advice from Mini Mayor's soulmate, Mel Gibson.

Jacques, hey man, I know you're like me, bro. I love beavers. Beavers I can control.  Using my subconscious voices from deep within me.  Think of this beaver like your new Lamar.  But unlike Lamar, this beaver has a mind of its own.  Scary.  Evil beaver.  Who needs Ken Luneau?  You could bring this thing to your next briefing and it could answer questions for you. Bet you get some crazy looks with that one. Bret McCormick might crap hisself. Then Carty could clean him up and write about what an important staff member the beaver is.  The To-To won't tell anybody the beaver is a hand puppet.  Have the To-To said anything about Ken yet?  Nobody the wiser bro. You could make this thing your attack beaver (no offense to Kay). The next time Herbert Dixon crossed you, he'd have to fight with the beaver. The next time you and Ro Jo get into it, the attack beaver could sit between you and Ro Jo.  Then you wouldn't have to be scared of Ro Jo.  You wouldn't look like a little b**** like last week because the beaver is there to protect you.  That attack beaver could debate Ro Jo. Hell, a single cell amoeba could debate Ro Jo and win.

Mini Mayor's Fantasy

Mini Mayor was talking about Sun Tzu the other day.  Too much World of Warcraft will do that to you.  This is an interesting story about Sun Tzu:



One legend of Sun Tzu's life goes as follows: The king of Wu tested Sun Tzu's skills by commanding him to train a harem of 180 concubines into soldiers. Sun Tzu divided them into two companies, appointing the two concubines most favored by the king as the company commanders. When Sun Tzu first ordered the concubines to face right, they giggled. In response, Sun Tzu said that the general, in this case himself, was responsible for ensuring that soldiers understood the commands given to them. Then, he reiterated the command, and again the concubines giggled. Sun Tzu then ordered the execution of the king's two favored concubines, to the king's protests. He explained that if the general's soldiers understood their commands but did not obey, it was the fault of the officers. Sun Tzu also said that once a general was appointed, it was their duty to carry out their mission, even if the king protested. After both concubines were killed, new officers were chosen to replace them. Afterwards, both companies performed their maneuvers flawlessly.


OK, Mini Mayor.  We get the message - the beatings will continue until morale improves.  That's a great management style Mini Mayor.  Maybe Kay Cell knows about Sun Tzu too?

Where Was Kenny?

Kenny advising Ro Jo

Mini Mayor's political clout is crumbling like  Sugar-house road.  In Mini Mayor's moment of greatest need, Kenny AKA Dr. Evil abandoned Mini Mayor. You don't think Dr. Evil is jumping ship to Ro Jo, huh? Eyewitnesses have reported to us that this was the scene at city hall:


Kay Cell (running around): Anita! Where's Ken!

Anita: Maybe in his office? Or Lamar's office?  He didn't leave a forwarding. Maybe try his cell phone.

Kay Cell: I'm watching the closed circuit feed and Jacques is dying!  Do you have the emergency med pack?

Anita:  You mean Jacques Lithium, Kay?

Kay Cell:  Well I'm not talking about the f****** bandaids Anita!

Anita:  Jacques took the emergency med pack away from me.  He accused me of stealing some of it.

Kay Cell:  (gasp)

Anita: (ignores Kay Cell and returns to opening mail)

Kay Cell: (running through the halls) Ken! Are you here? Lamar?

Mike Marcotte: (steps into hallway) Kay, if you're looking for Lamar, he's "working from home" (makes air quotes with both hands) again today.

Kay Cell: (heavy sarcasm) Great, Mike! Hope your game of Mah Jong goes well for ya!

Mike Marcotte:  Whatever Kay.  Good luck with Sugarhouse Road or Stockyard projects.

Kay Cell: Chuck! Chuck! Somebody! We've got to save Jacques! Ken is MIA!

Chuck Johnson: (awakens from napping and steps into hallway)  What's all the noise?

Kay Cell: Jacques is in trouble! His talking himself into a hole and Ken isn't there to hit the KILL switch!

Chuck Johnson: Hmm. I wonder if Ken is still with Ro?

Kay Cell: What do you mean! Why is Ken talking to Ro?

Chuck Johnson: They meet almost everyday now since about a month ago. Have you tried calling or texting Ken?

Kay Cell: Ken is blocking my calls and texts after "The Incident".

Chuck Johnson: Oh, yeah, "The Incident" (smiles).

Kay Cell: Chuck, don't laugh now. Call Ken.

Chuck Johnson: (still smiling about "The Incident") OK, OK. Here, look, I'll text him. "WRU@"

Chuck Johnson: Hmm. That's funny.

Kay Cell: What?

Chuck Johnson: I got an auto reply back. It says, "Ken Luneau is busy working on the mayor's race and will not be available until after 2".

Kay Cell: How could Ken be working on the mayor's race if he's with Ro?

Chuck Johnson: Hmm. (cracks a wide grin) Well, it's time for lunch! See you later.

Kay Cell: Poor Jacques. He really needed Ken today. Jacques is really gonna need a pick me up to get over his briefing.  I don't think the Lithium can do it.  I'll have to think of what I could do to cheer him up. This afternoon is gonna suck.

Employees Do Fear Reprisal

Mini Mayor's Two Mouths

Mini Mayor is a lying hypocrite.  Mini Mayor was talking the other day about how employees shouldn't fear reprisals for afterhours activities.  Yeah, OK, whatever.  Here's what Alexandria employees do fear:

Speaking out against Mini Mayor about anything

Calling into a radio station that Mini Mayor watches like R. Kelly watches kids at a daycare

Publicly speaking out about Fetal Freddy blogging all day at work and taxpayers paying for it

Publicly discussing the sleeping around at city hall and Mini Mayor's affairs

Publicly discussing the messed up Half Moon Productions movie "deal" and the utter stupidity of Bill Hess

Publicly talking about Ken Luneau and Mini Mayor ghost writing articles and editorials for the Clan of the To-To

Publicly disclosing the messed up details of the HIP deal

Publicly speaking out on Mini Mayor's staff free lunch program paid for by taxpayers

Publicly speaking out about Mini Mayor's backroom meetings with Cleco

Revealing details of the messed up closed door meetings of the city council

We could go on, but you get the point.  Mini Mayor wanted Fetal Freddy to print that hit piece on EMS, but when Ken Luneau found out about it, they shut it down.  Listen to what Fetal Freddy is telling you.  That is what Mini Mayor is saying to Fetal Freddy.  It was no mistake what Fetal Freddy wrote.  It would be a mistake if any Alexandria employee wrote something less than worshiping His Most High and Hopeless Mini Mayor.

Fetal Freddy Playbook Used On Mini Mayor

Just like a rich, spoiled kid to be tramplin on the Constitution.  Look, Fetal Freddy, in this country you are innocent until proven guilty.  But what do you go off and do?  Calling people cowardly bigots.  Start accusing people of things and issuing ultimatums that they are guilty unless they publicly deny your accusations.  You really are a messed up little freak.  Simon Legree, Hitler, Stalin, Bull Connor, Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il, Mini Mayor and Fetal Freddy.  That's bad company, punk.

Maybe Mini Mayor would like a taste of Fetal Freddy's medicine.  Using Fetal Freddy's playbook, here are some things we will believe until Mini Mayor publicly denies them.  Just remember, we fightin Fetal Freddy's fire with a little fire of our own.  If you can't stand the heat in the kitchen (ask your momma for the rest, we're tired of giving your dumb*** free advice).

1 - Mini Mayor received money under the table from Cleco or Cleco shareholders to drop the lawsuit.

2 - Mini Mayor knew about all of the levee deficiencies long before he was mayor.

3 - Mini Mayor was the levee board attorney because of his family connections in Avoyelles Parish.

4 - Mini Mayor's dad is the levee board attorney because of his family connections in Avoyelles Parish.

5 - Mini Mayor's brother tried to cut St. Landry parish out of the levee board power structure to gain more Roy family influence over the corrupt levee board.

6 - Mini Mayor has had sexual relations with his Chief Operating Officer also known as Kay Cell.

7 - Mini Mayor has had sexual relations with a lot more than Kay Cell and his wife.

8 - Mini Mayor and his family and friends have received personal gifts from HIP in exchange for rewarding the bid to HIP.

9  - Mini Mayor will not sue Rapides Regional for cutting the Bayou Phillips Levee because Mini Mayor's wife rakes in a salary of over $100,000 from the Rapides Foundation.

10 - Mini Mayor has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

11 - Mini Mayor has a family history of alcoholism and mental illness.

12 - Mini Mayor takes anti-psychotic medication to function normally on a daily basis.

13 - Mini Mayor visits a therapist monthly to deal with his mental disorders.

The next mayor briefing would be a great time for Dr. Evil to let Mini Mayor deny these truths.  We hope Fetal Freddy is sitting in Mini Mayor's lap as Mini Mayor sets the record straight.  Dr. Evil with one arm up Mini Mayor's back and Fetal Freddy sittin in his lap.  Priceless.

Fatman Mini Mayor and Fetal Freddy

JB Readers Respect Matrimonial Bonds

Does Mini Mayor or his staff?

WHICH OF THESE IS WORSE -

Cheating on pregnant wife	24 (88%)
Political parody of fundraising wife	3 (11%)

Change your vote

Votes so far: 27
Poll closed

Fetal Freddy Loves Russian Roulette

We did not know that Wendy Roy has pregnant, but now we do thanks to the babbling blogger.  You broke rule number one - don't give your opponent any ammunition.  Let's get one thing straight, Fetal Freddy, this is politics.  You and Mini Mayor have been passing out ammunition faster than Mini Mayor is spending SPARC money.  Politics, Fetal Freddy.  Politics isn't a game for little boys/girls and babbling idiots.  If Mini Mayor was chicken s**t enough to have his wife circulate a letter at work asking her Rapides Regional office cronies to donate money to Mini Mayor's campaign, then Mini Mayor's wife is part of his political machine.  If Mini Mayor has a political website with a picture of his family, then his family are fair game.  If Mini Mayor's executive whatever or chief operating officer or chief of staff and whatever else she may do in the line of duty (wink, wink) is making political fundraiser calls on city time and using a city phone and publishing that city phone as part of her unlawful solicitations, then Kay Cell is part of Mini Mayor's political machine.  Anyone who is part of Mini Mayor's political machine is subject to political speech and some political speech is satire.  We do a lot of satire here along with real news that the Caveman Carty's To-To wouldn't dare to print for fear of a tongue lashing from Mini Mayor.

Since Mini Mayor is obviously unethical and a pathological liar, it's time voters began to ask themselves what Von Jennings could have done that was so bad?  Have ya'll considered that, with the mayor's approval, she may have had a flexible work schedule?  Kay Cell said she was at "lunch" at 2 o'clock in the afternoon.  Have anyone seen the long lunches that Chuck Johnson and Mike Marcotte take?  And why is the city taxpayers paying for ALL of Chuck Johnson's lunches?  Anybody who thinks Von Jennings wasn't doing her job is uninformed.  Mini Mayor fired Von Jennings for DOING her job.  Mini Mayor fired Von Jennings because she wouldn't lie for Mini Mayor.  Really, people, is it that hard to believe after what you have seen and heard from Mini Mayor over the last year?  What Mini Mayor has lied about the Cleco deal?  What Mini Mayor has lied about the Bentley deal?  What Mini Mayor has lied about film studios and Full Moon Productions?  What Mini Mayor has lied about the levee problems?  Mini Mayor lied about Von Jennings, too, and it's time everybody admitted that.

Another Tweet from Joker to Mini Mayor

Oh, I forgot to tell you earlier that Heffling says your interview is set for next Friday.  I'd hire you without all the dog and pony show, but my boy Heff says we gotta do it by the book.  Heff says you can bring Trey the Parrot, but we ain't hiring him.  Heff said you can bring Kay Cell too if you need a (wink) reference (wink, wink).  And tell Quasi I'm still working on an interview for him.  Gotta tell you not a lot of people can stomach being around that dumb freak.  Why don't you try making him Ho So's problem.  I see that you and that piece of aged bolognie have got really close, so try to get something out of his foul mouth.  I'll be showing off my new license plate in Dallas next Friday, so you're on your own with Heff!

Wendy Wednesday!

It's Wednesday, so it must be time for a message from Wendy Roy.

"Hey y'all!  Things have really changed since last week.  Maybe y'all weren't at the crawfish boil at Spirits 2 months ago, but Ken made this really funny joke about how Jacques can be maniacal.  Everybody was laughing except for Jacques and then we were laughing harder because Jacques was playing it so straight.  I mean, he never laughed and then everybody kinda stopped laughing.  Well, Jacques didn't forget that joke and he's been calling Ken 10 times a day and Ken doesn't answer but Jacques just leaves a message where he repeats the joke.  Sometimes Jacques gets that devious little half-grin after he leaves the message and sometimes he's really mad and throws the phone into the couch.

So Ken called back and I answered the phone and Ken said he was so relieved to give me the good news so I could pass it on to Jacques.  I told  him Jacques would call him back but Ken said it was better this way and anyway he was busy writing the news script for KALB tonight and Bret McCormick's piece tomorrow and Paul Carty's opinion for Sunday.  Ken said Ro was having second thoughts about running.  He said Ro wasn't handling the pressure of running again and all the 3 AM calls from Jacques and Chris Sr. and Chris Jr. and Kay and Chuck and David and Mike and Lamar.  And that's when it hit me how lucky I am to be married to Jacques.  Poor Roosevelt isn't a genius like Jacques but the worst thing is Roosevelt doesn't have dedicated followers like Jacques.  I mean, these people will do ANYTHING for Jacques.  They owe their entire existence to him.  You don't think they are working their butts off just to stay in Jacques good graces?  Alexandria is lucky that these people are on pins and needles when Jacques is around.   Kay even told me that she does her best work on her knees!

I called Jacques to gave him the good news but he sounded mad and I heard him yell something to Kay about find that ******* Ken **** and then he just hang up.  That's not very unusual.  Jacques can get really busy and he'll just hang up on me.  Anyway, I had to call him back and when I gave him the news and Jacques just started laughing really loud and he just started yelling Kay!  Kay!  Kaaaaayyy!  and then he hung up again.  So I guess Jacques loved the news."

The Mini Mayor Sociopath Checklist

Surprise, surprise.  Mini Mayor fits every item on the checklist.

1. Glibness/Superficial Charm.  Check.  Mini Mayor is always talking to an imaginary mirror.  He thinks Carty and McCormick adore him because he's  witty, good looking and irresistible.  And then there is Kay Cell.  It also doesn't help that Mini Mayor has surrounded hisself with a bunch of butt kissers.  He's the Man, or so he thinks.
2. Manipulative and Conning.  Check.  Do as I say and not as I do.  Mini Mayor is all about hisself and if you step out a line, look out!
3. Grandiose Sense of Self.  Check.  Mini Mayor is the greatest of all time.  Just ask him or anyone suffering from fetal alcohol syndrome.  Why do you think he has those "briefings" where he is the center of attention and he won't attend the council meetings?  Because he craves adulation and attendance of Carty and Co. 
4. Pathological Lying.  Check.  Really nothing to add here.
5. Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt.  Check.  Have you talked to anyone in Mini Mayor's camp lately?  Instead of friends, Mini Mayor have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and Mini Mayor let nothing stand in their way.
6. Shallow Emotions.  Check.  Dude got upset by a guy on the radio and ran him off. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person.
7. Incapacity for Love.  Check.  From what we here, Mini Mayor's "love" only lasts for 5 minutes at a time. 
8. Need for Stimulation.  Check.  Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal.  Ask around city hall.
9. Callousness/Lack of Empathy.  Check.  When you drive around in a $60,000 Mercedes, drink all the fine wine, eat like a king and pick up a few stray booty calls, its hard to connect with the common folk.  
10. Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature.  Check.  LOL.  KSYL anyone?
11. Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency.  Check.  Mini Mayor was lucky to be part of the Menard Mafia and have the connections he did.
12. Irresponsibility/Unreliability.  Check.  When has anything Mini Mayor promised or said come true?  We still don't have our rebates from Cleco.  HIP ain't gonna happen.  Sugarhouse Road was a no go.  What exactly is SPARC besides a new fire station on Lee and Masonic and a building for the Red Cross?  Fast Track to nowhere.
13. Promiscuous Sexual Behavior Infidelity.  Check.  Ask around town if you haven't heard the latest.
14. Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle.  Check.  Did you ever hear Mini Mayor say he could take a pay cut to help out the budget?  Just how big do you think Mini Mayor's city expense account is?  Do you really think Mini Mayor "works" 8 hours a day?
15. Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility.  Check.  Mini Mayor despises Ro Jo, but he's using Ro Jo as his new front man.  Anything to hold onto power.

Jacques-y Horror Picture Show

Anybody who doesn't think that watching the Mini Mayor's administration is like watching a really bad B-movie horror film, please email us and explain why.  We like to call Mini Mayor's 4 year administration the Jacques-y Horror Picture Show.  What, you don't see the similarities?  OK.

1 -  Just like Rocky Horror, it's a cult classic.  At least among the cult of fetal alcohol syndrome types and Spirits crowd.  Jacques-y Horror Picture Show is much better watching with a beer.

2 -  Based on what our friends at city hall tell us, Mini Mayor does his best "work" (wink, wink) around midnight.

3 - A criminologist tells us the Rocky Horror story, we gonna need a criminologist to document Mini Mayor's crimes.

4 - Mini Mayor exists in a "Time Warp" where white liberals have to help "black" peoples cause "black" people can't help themselves and "black" people don't even know how to help ourselves.  We supposed to thank God he gave us Mini Mayor.

5 - Mini Mayor flushed anyone with brains or independent thought from his administration just like how Dr. Frank N Furter killed Eddie the brain donor.

6 - Mini Mayor has been singing "Rose Tint My World" and trying to force his staff and himself to do a phony song and dance for the public about how great things are.

7 - There are people on Mini Mayor's staff who could be transsexual (you do the math).

8 - Mini Mayor thinks he has magical powers and can make anything work, but it always goes horribly wrong.

9 - With rumors that the FBI is in town, there is a "Sword of Damocles" hanging over Mini Mayor.

10 - Dr. Evil has pulled a silent coup by setting up Ro Jo for the mayor's race and Mini Mayor is sold on "I'm Going Home".  No matter how bad Mini Mayor's brief reign has been, the Spirits crowd will always think of his administration as a bunch of "Super Heroes".

Mini Mayor Will Not Seek Re-Election

NEWS   FLASH  !!!!!

Jacques Barack has been working the phones all night and our sources say that with Roosevelt Johnson entering the Alexandria mayor's race, Mini Mayor will not seek re-election to a second term.  Is the evil reign over?  NO!  Our sources say that the plan is for Mini Mayor to use Ro Jo as a puppet and will run Alexandria behind the curtain.  Our sources say that Mini Mayor has talked to his staff and assured them that they will have a place in Ro Jo's administration.

We know Ro Jo aint gonna win, so whatever.

Your Help Needed

We received this picture this morning.  We were told that it belongs to Kay Cell.  If anyone in the Jacques Barack community can confirm or deny, please drop us a line.

Inc. Magazine Drops Alexandria 53 Places

The TT is so pathetic.  Talkin bout a traffic circles at Horseshoe and Jackson St.  Yeah, Mini Mayor and Kay "Cell" Michiels can't even get Sugar House Road or Versailles done, but they gonna do a circle at the end of Jackson?  Hey, Carty, this is why you don't sell any newspapers.

Maybe this weekend Carty will run a story on Alexandria becoming the new NASA headquarters.  Or maybe Carty will treat us to another story about the global downtown hotels initiative?  Or maybe Carty will print a piece about HIP that is really written by Jacques?  Or maybe just an apology to HIP for telling the truth?

And, Carty, we don't remember you running a story on Inc. Magazine's last available rating of Alexandria.  Inc. Magazine dropped Alexandria 53 spots to 118 out of 335 cities ranked.  If Mini Mayor and Kay Cell keep this up, we'll be unratable, kinda like the way Money Magazine never heard of Alexandria.  It's the apocalypse, people.

Dr. Drew's High Heeled Chicken

These scribblings were found in a dumpster outside Dr. Drew Pinsky's office in Los Angeles.  We don't know if it is a coincidence or not, but Jacques has made official city visits the Los Angeles.

Owee.  Look at me.

Tweedle dee dee.

I thought I was a rooster,

but now I'm a roaster.

You can put lipstick and heels

on this rubber chicken,

But I'm still ugly as sin

And can't take a lickin.

Chicken to bone,

I'm Lil Lord Fauntleroy's clone.

In 2006 I set the trend,

Now I'm afraid this is the end.

Look at me, Mr. Fancy,

I don't care if me a pansy.

Jacques Roy is the boss

And my salad Chuck can toss.

My vocab is so dy-no-mite,

Its taller than my height.

On the mike I can blow,

Talkin more than Fidel Castro.

I got my Whip,

and I'm balzak hip.

Pullin 100 large

as Man in charge.

But Alexandria is broke

Cause my spendins on coke.

Trying to buy votes

Like BP rentin boats.

Owee.  Look at me.

Tweedle dee dee.

Jacques the Vote

Is really a goat.

Von Getting Vocal

Now that Dr. Evil has got Jacques in seclusion hiding from Live Blogger, the only thing we need is for Ms. Jennings to step it up.  Well, now she has.  Bret McCormick reports in the To-To:

The only announced Alexandria mayoral candidate requested copies of the administration's written response to agenda items during the Alexandria City Council's committee meetings.

Von Jennings, a former city employee who is running for mayor, asked the council if copies could be made available to the citizens who attend the meetings.

"It's hard to follow. If I could read along, it would be easier," Jennings said.

Well played, Ms. Jennings, well played.  You were obviously too competent to work for Jacques Roy.  People who don't do anything, like Jacques, or can't get anything done, like Kay, don't like having productive people around.

District 4 Councilman Harry Silver suggested that the council make the reports available at the entrance to the City Council Chambers, while Kay Michiels said the council is free to publish the reports, as they are a public record.

Uh-oh.  Looks like Jacques won't be ridin his $60,000 Mercedes over to Ho So (sometimes that call me Ho-Ho) store and droppin any of Jacques $110,000 salary on suits.

One citizen, Rhonda Reap-Curiel, wondered why the council was reading the written reports when members of the administration were in the audience.

"Why are we even reading reports?" Reap-Curiel said. "There are administration people here. Can they not give reports? There may be questions we want to ask if we can hear the report."

Reap-Curiel's statement drew a round of applause from the audience members present at the meeting.

There goes any money Rhonda Reap-Curiel was going to make on consulting on the Levee Alliance.

Michiels, who is the chief operating officer and director of planning for Mayor Jacques Roy, said the administration delivers written reports every Friday before Tuesday's council meetings so the council members can better prepare for their meetings.

Kay's main preparation for council meetings is her solicitation calls for Jacques.  Alexandria deserve a better government.  A more transparent government.  Alexandria deserves Von Jennings.

Kay Does It After Hours For Jacques

Kay Michiels wants you to vote for her boss.  Kay wants you to know that sometimes she goes to lunch at 1:30 and sometimes she has no lunch at all.  Kay wants you to know that sometimes she doesn't leave work until after 8.  Kay wants you to know that if she does call anybody looking for money then she is always off the clock, whenever that is.  See, Kay only does it after work hours for Jacques.  Kay Michiels wants you to know that as city chief operating officer she is on call 24/7 so give Kay a call or sext text her now at 318-446-1813.