Thursday, September 30, 2010

Who Run Bartertown?

Who run Bartertown?

Crazy Coke Bitches!

Dat Who!

Crack is Whack

Rick James Was The Original Superfreak

Champagne And Cocaine. And Crime.

There's nothing wrong with cocaine if you think you are one of the greatest people that ever lived. There's nothing wrong with cocaine if you think it makes you more productive.  I'm not saying those things are true, but I am saying that cokeheads always come up with some excuse that doing lines is OK.  Just like there's always an excuse for dating a woman outside your marriage.

So our unclassified city employees may be having some wild parties at city hall?  Who cares as long was the city is running right?  That's the problem.  This city isn't running right.  Why?  Because the people we elected to run the city have been partying and not working.  This is also why we've seen crime spike so high in the last few years.  When the mayor is always breaking the law, it gets more and more difficult for the police to punish behavior that is OK for some but not others.  Want a city that works and has less crime?  Then vote for a new mayor.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Dynamic Duo Of Do Nothing Good

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum?

Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me

Hey Good Lookin!

Jacques Crazy

Jacques is Whack.  LiveBlogger gave me the clip above.  That's Jacques taunting our website.  Come on, Jacques!  We know you read us.  I don't care what any of the Jacques people say about how smart he is or how many big words he knows.  What difference does it make?  If knowing big words made you a great mayor, Pat Sajak would be President of the World.  Got it?  The question is what kind of mayor is Jacques?  Not very good.  Whatever brains he has he wastes on trying to belittle people.  All of Jacques' energy is wasted fighting with people.  Don't believe me?  Call him up tomorrow at 449-5000 and tell him you have a suggestion for improving trash pick-up.  Then Jacques will put you on his Enemies List.  Even Jacques' friends know what crazy he is.  We need someone who will put the issues of this city before themself.  Jacques won't do that.  In his world, it's all Jacques all the time.  Let's give him a much needed rest, OK?  He can get back to his law practice.  That's what Madiba calls a win-win.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Chuck Johnson January 2011

How's Marcotte's Job Search Coming?

Lamar's Life Story

Kay's Sleeping On The Job Backfires

Chuck Gets A Warning From Mini Mayor

Lamar's Job Description

Mini Mayor's Dysfunctional Family of So-Called Executives

Lamar "working"

The second highest reading on the Mini Mayor Misery Index is Lamar White.  But it's not just Lamar White, its the entire dysfunctional family of city executives that Mini Mayor hired.  Do you think these people do any work?  They don't.  Kay Michiels has spent her last 6 months shaking down contractors for contributions to the Mini Mayor for Mayor campaign fund.  How else you think Mini Mayor could buy that billboard?

What is Kay Michiels' job?  Mini Mayor needs money.  No problem.  Call a bunch of city contractors.  South Alexandria needs Sugarhouse Road?  Forget about it.  But you can trust Madiba when I tell you that Kay Michiels does "work" after hours.  I hear its here best "work".

Can anybody tell me what Chuck Johnson does besides flirt with contract attorneys and run up big expense reports?  Champagne and cocaine.  Is it true that the men's restroom on the second floor of city hall says Chuck spends his PM with A.M.?  Whatever could that mean?

Mike Marcotte might as well work for CLECO.

David Crutchfield has another fulltime job and is rarely at city hall working.  Check the records if you don't believe Madiba.

Lisa Harris - Jack of all Trades, Master of None.

Lamar.  Do I even need to add anything?

And then there's Mini Mayor himself.  If a camera isn't on, he ain't "working".

Monday, September 27, 2010

It's All About CLECO

The number 1 issue in Alexandria right now is utilities.  The highest reading on the Mini Mayor Misery Index is CLECO.  Mini Mayor doesn't want to talk about it.  The To-To doesn't want to talk about it.  KALB doesn't want to talk about it.  Ro Jo and the rest of the council (except for Ed Larvadain) doesn't want to talk about it.  See why your utility bills are so high?  Nobody in power wants to change anything because all these powerful people benefit from robbing you.

But Madiba, you ask, "You can't be serious?"  Well my friends, Madiba is dead serious.  CLECO, Mini Mayor and Ro Jo have conspired to keep your utilities unaffordable.  Why?  Because CLECO executives get rich and they can pass white envelopes  to Mini Mayor and Ro Jo.  Maybe even buy them some fancy meals or send their families on some nice vacations.  Know who else gets rich?  Mini Mayor's lawyer friends.  They got millions and you'll get nothing.    Are you waiting for your rebate?  There are no rebates!  Don't be a fool!  Don't let Mini Mayor and Ro Jo get away with this scam!  If you want affordable utilities, only one candidate has said she will give it to you - Von Jennings.  Because Von is not owned by the powers in this town.  Von is grassroots.  Vote for Von and you can use your heater this winter.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Madiba Speaks The Issues

All this week, Madiba will review the important issues in the mayor's race.  Madiba will use the Mini Mayor Misery Index as a guage to cover the most important issues.  Check back each day to read Madiba's take.  We might get a few laughs in too if LiveBlogger checks in.

Sunday Revelations

REV 16:10 And the fifth angel poured out his vial upon the seat of the beast; and his kingdom was full of darkness; and they gnawed their tongues for pain,

REV 16:11 And blasphemed the God of heaven because of their pains and their sores, and repented not of their deeds.

REV 16:12 And the sixth angel poured out his vial upon the great river Euphrates; and the water thereof was dried up, that the way of the kings of the east might be prepared.

REV 16:13 And I saw three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the mouth of the dragon, and out of the mouth of the beast, and out of the mouth of the false prophet.

REV 16:14 For they are the spirits of devils, working miracles, which go forth unto the kings of the earth and of the whole world, to gather them to the battle of that great day of God Almighty.

REV 16:15 Behold, I come as a thief. Blessed is he that watcheth, and keepeth his garments, lest he walk naked, and they see his shame.

REV 16:16 And he gathered them together into a place called in the Hebrew tongue Armageddon.

REV 16:17 And the seventh angel poured out his vial into the air; and there came a great voice out of the temple of heaven, from the throne, saying, It is done.

REV 16:18 And there were voices, and thunders, and lightnings; and there was a great earthquake, such as was not since men were upon the earth, so mighty an earthquake, and so great.

REV 16:19 And the great city was divided into three parts, and the cities of the nations fell: and great Babylon came in remembrance before God, to give unto her the cup of the wine of the fierceness of his wrath.

REV 16:20 And every island fled away, and the mountains were not found.

REV 16:21 And there fell upon men a great hail out of heaven, every stone about the weight of a talent: and men blasphemed God because of the plague of the hail; for the plague thereof was exceeding great.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Election Day Is Next Saturday

This time next week we'll be headed to the polls.  If you haven't already early voted, make plans for next Saturday.  This is too important for the future of Alexandria.  For a list of the important issues, check out the Mini Mayor Misery Index to the right.  You can still vote too.  Next Saturday, we vote for real.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Insert Joke Here

Mini Mayor Sign Behind Bars

Email us if you would like to add your own caption.

Readers Think Roy Is Paying Rev. Franklin

Look, people, we don't know if it did happen or not, but there is a big time rumor that Mayor Jacques Roy paid Rev. Joe Franklin to get in the race so as to dilute the vote in the black community.Maybe if we had real journalists in this town, we wouldn't have to put a poll.  Why Mini Mayor never been asked this question before?  To-To?  Caveman?

One thing that gives this rumor some truth is it definitely sounds like something this racist mayor would do.  The other thing that gives this rumor truth is Rev. Joe Franklin told everybody he wasn't going to run cause he wanted to focus on his ministry.  What happened to Rev. Joe Franklin's ministry?  Guess he got over that.  The other thing is that Rev. Joe Franklin's wife, Sandra, is now running for office too.  Things that make ya go hmmm.  Where do the Franklins get enough money to run two campaigns?  Our readers seem to think they know the answer.


  20 (83%)
  3 (12%)
Don't know
  1 (4%)

Votes so far: 24
Poll closed 

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Two Days Left To Early Vote For Von #101

You won't need a coat
If today you vote
You're civic duty do not shun
Vote early for #101

Straight Cash Homey

Cleco still the biggest winner in the Mini Mayor Misery Index. Why is that people? Oh, we know. Cause you ain't gettin no rebates! Here are some jokes. They all have the same punchline.

What do the Easter Bunny and Cleco rebates have in common?

What do Frosty the Snowman and Cleco rebates have in common?

What do the Tooth Fairy and Cleco rebates have in common?

What do Mini Mayor tellin the truth and Cleco rebates have in common?

Too bad the punchline is Mini Mayor believes in both. The jokes on us people. We the one who can't pay these bills. Does Mini Mayor know what cash is? All the evidence would say he doesn't. Did Mini Mayor get any cash out of Cleco? Nope. Did Mini Mayor sign a hotel deal with with a bidder that had cash? Nope. Y'all know what we take at Jacques Barack? Straight cash, homey. Word.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Mini Mayor Misery Index All You Need To Know

Do ya need a reason to get out and early vote today?  Check out the Mini Mayor Misery Index.  You can still vote on that too.  They waitin on you at the courthouse from 8:30 to 6.  And if you already early voted, convince a friend.   Vote for a better Alexandria.  Vote for Von.  Vote #101!


His $100,000 salary
  4 (7%)
Giving CLECO the keys to the city
  13 (22%)
His $60,000 Mercedes
  4 (7%)
Talking about HIP
  3 (5%)
The late night parties at city hall
  5 (8%)
Talking about Sugarhouse Road
  2 (3%)
Avoiding men in white coats
  8 (14%)
Taking 4 years on Versailles
  1 (1%)
Gaining 20 pounds on the job
  1 (1%)
Giving $50,000 to Half Moon Productions
  4 (7%)
Avoiding responsibility for the levee breaches
  2 (3%)
Finding a job for Lamar White
  10 (17%)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Early Voting For Von #101

Early Voting For Von
8:30 to 6

The Bachelor Producers Respond

Dear Chuck the Wild Buck,

We are in receipt of your letter and we must say that you caught our eye. In a kinda low budget way.  Really low budget.  We thought we'd check up on you and we hired a private investigator to look into your background. Please don't be alarmed, this is part of our checklist for all of our contestants. Alexandria being a small town, we called the mayor and he recommended his cousin to do the investigation. Maybe you know this guy who is the mayor's cousin?  He said the mayor pays him to make files on everybody in Alexandria.  Cause he didn't do any legwork, just started telling us all about you.  He seemed to know a lot of details about who and what goes down at city hall after hours.  As a result of this background check, we are sorry to inform you that the results of this investigation have disqualified you from appearing as The Bachelor. Our policy is that we do not accept applicants who identify with open marriages, weird fetishes, tranny or homosexual relationships (not that there's anything wrong with that).  We thank you for your interest and hope that you will be watching Season XV.

The Producers of The Bachelor

Monday, September 20, 2010

Early Voting All Week

Early voting resumes today and every day this week from 8:30 am to 6:00 pm at the Rapides Parish Courthouse.  All you have to know about voting is #101, peeps.

Monday Mel

It's Monday and that means more advice from Mini Mayor's soulmate, Mel Gibson.

Jacques ole buddy. Sometimes you jus gotta admit defeat and move on. It's jus not in the cards this time, buddy. Aren't you f****** tired of all this mess? I am. Look, you f***** up, okay? Be a man about it. I f***** up, okay? I totally f***** up with Oksana, okay? It was me. Did the meds have something to do with? Well, yeah, but you know what? I am the meds and the meds are me. It was me. Jus like its you. You blew it, man. You blew it. Cleco. Crime. IACP report. Larry Love. HIP. Levees. Blaming the Pentecostals. Lamar. Drainage. Sugar House Road. Ken Luneau. Capital One. Versailles still not open since before your admin. Caveman Carty. Half Moon Productions. Que'in. Charles Frederich Smith. City Hall Fortress. Bradley the Bodyguard. The Mercedes. Kay Cell. The other women. Your marriage. Que'in Too. Fred Rosenfeld. I could go on and on. You blew it. Time to step back, take a deep breath and start over. You'll feel much better, man. Oh, and get a new therapist. Works wonders.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Sunday Revelations

REV 16:1 And I heard a great voice out of the temple saying to the seven angels, Go your ways, and pour out the vials of the wrath of God upon the earth.

REV 16:2 And the first went, and poured out his vial upon the earth; and there fell a noisome and grievous sore upon the men which had the mark of the beast, and upon them which worshipped his image.

REV 16:3 And the second angel poured out his vial upon the sea; and it became as the blood of a dead man: and every living soul died in the sea.

REV 16:4 And the third angel poured out his vial upon the rivers and fountains of waters; and they became blood.

REV 16:5 And I heard the angel of the waters say, Thou art righteous, O Lord, which art, and wast, and shalt be, because thou hast judged thus.

REV 16:6 For they have shed the blood of saints and prophets, and thou hast given them blood to drink; for they are worthy.

REV 16:7 And I heard another out of the altar say, Even so, Lord God Almighty, true and righteous are thy judgments.

REV 16:8 And the fourth angel poured out his vial upon the sun; and power was given unto him to scorch men with fire.

REV 16:9 And men were scorched with great heat, and blasphemed the name of God, which hath power over these plagues: and they repented not to give him glory.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Mayor's Race 101

It's that simple. 101 is all you need to know. We've given this some thought and the Jacques Barack collaborative endorses Von Jennings for Mayor. We need change at city hall. We need a city that works for all the people. We need a city where the citizens are welcome at city hall (No Show Ro Jo Got To Go). We need affordable utilities. We need spending restraint. We need real economic development. Von is the most experienced public servant in the race and she's the only candidate to have worked in government before running for office. Von is an executive. She knows how to make decisions. Who was the first person to enter the mayor's race? Von Jennings. Who was the last person? Mini Mayor. We've had amateur hour the last 4 years, now it's time to let an adult clean things up. Early voting starts today at the Rapides Parish Courthouse from 6:30 am to 8:00 pm. Go out and celebrate this endorsement by voting for Von. Bring your ID and a smile. The future is bright with Von. Vote #101.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Early Voting Starts Tomorrow

Be ready people.  Be ready.  You can start voting Saturday at the Rapides Parish Courthouse.  Time to show Mini Mayor who the real boss is.

Ro Jo A No Show

Where was Ro Jo last night?  He disrespected the Men of Kappa Alpha Psi.  You think he gonna respect you?  Think about it, peeps.  What takes leadership?  Sitting at a public works meeting and always voting with Mini Mayor OR attending the forum and giving us your vision for a better Alexandria.  No Show Ro Jo is not a leader.

Someone To Turn To

Word up.  Mini Mayor was upset after the spanking he took last night.  Who does Mini Mayor turn to when he's feeling vulnerable?  Who is the blanket that covers Mini Mayor?  This footage was captured late last night.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

How To Act At A Candidate Forum

Politically Dead Man Walking

The Men of Kappa Alpha Psi are holding a mayor's forum at city hall tonight.  We offer this advice to Mini Mayor on how to improve over the last forum where he lied and politically died. Ken Luneau charges $300 an hour for this advice, but we doing it free of charge.

1)  Show up.  This is really important.  If you want to look like you care, then attend the event.  Don't turn your nose up like you did the NAACP.

2)  Sit where you are supposed to sit.  This  shows that you have respect for your hosts and that you can follow the rules.

3)  Don't argue with the moderator.  See #2.

4)  Don't act like African Americans make you sick.  There are 4 other candidates in the mayor's race.  They are all African Americans.  You will probably have to sit next to one of them.  If you have to, grin and bear it so you don't look like the racist you are.

5)  Don't bring Bradley the Bodyguard.  He makes you look like a paranoid little freak of a hairball.  And reminds us what a coward you really are.

6) Don't have Bradley the Bodyguard throw the camaraman out the room.  See #5.

7)  Don't have Kay Cell throw the camaraman out the room with your wife there.  Very disrespectful to your wife.  Careful were your eyes are when Kay Cell walks around the room.

8)  Don't make your staff take seats from citizens who want to see the candidates.  Shows how scared and paranoid you are.

9)  Don't tell any lies.

10)  Forget 1-9.  No way you can NOT do any of this, so just skip it and start your midnight staring into the mirror a little early tomorrow night.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Full Moon Productions Is Seeking Applicants

Dear Paul Carty,

This is Hymie Barmitzvah, Montana Fishburne's Manager and CEO of Full Moon Productions. We want to take advantage of the bustling little film industry you guys have going on down there.  I need to place an ad for some local "talent".  Please run this ad in your little town rag - 

Are you limber?  Do you find church services dull?  Have you ever been invited to the Mini Mayor Lair at city hall after hours?  Would you like to make some money having fun?  Give the mayor's office a call and tell them your name, number and the code phrase "Mini Skinny".

I need this run everyday for the next 2 weeks.  You can send the bill for the ad to Bill Hess.

Hymie Barmitzvah
"At Full Moon Productions we really do have our pants on the ground!"

New Poll

Didn't hear from nobodies about Roy/Franklin, so we gonna put up a poll.  Tell us what you think.  And we still got the Mini Mayor Misery Index Perma-Poll still up.  17 days peeps!

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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Reader Mail: Rev. Franklin Is A Roy Boy?


Jacques Roy
Rev. Joseph Franklin


We've heard these rumors for some time, but just got this email from a reader.  Anyone who can confirm/deny, let us know.  Jacques Barack will withhold your name if you want or just use an anonymous email.

Rev. Franklin is getting money from the Roys to be in the mayor's race.  Where do you think the Franklin's got enough cash to run two campaigns (Sandra is running for school board)?

Mayor Roy Lacks....Skittles

No Good Coward
 Paranoid Little Freak of a Hairball

Why Mini Mayor can't sit next to black folk?  Is he afraid he might catch something?  Ro Jo have fleas?  Mini Mayor too good for the NAACP?  Maybe Peabody on the wrong side of town?    Why Mini Mayor always hide behind Bradley the Bodyguard?  Maybe its time for Mini Mayor to man up.  He's just a little coward who won't debate anyone cause he's a little coward.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Monday Mel

It's Monday and that means more advice from Mini Mayor's soulmate, Mel Gibson.

Jacques, hey man, I know you're like me, bro. I love beavers. Beavers I can control.  Using my subconscious voices from deep within me.  Think of this beaver like your new Lamar.  But unlike Lamar, this beaver has a mind of its own.  Scary.  Evil beaver.  Who needs Ken Luneau?  You could bring this thing to your next briefing and it could answer questions for you. Bet you get some crazy looks with that one. Bret McCormick might crap hisself. Then Carty could clean him up and write about what an important staff member the beaver is.  The To-To won't tell anybody the beaver is a hand puppet.  Have the To-To said anything about Ken yet?  Nobody the wiser bro. You could make this thing your attack beaver (no offense to Kay). The next time Herbert Dixon crossed you, he'd have to fight with the beaver. The next time you and Ro Jo get into it, the attack beaver could sit between you and Ro Jo.  Then you wouldn't have to be scared of Ro Jo.  You wouldn't look like a little b**** like last week because the beaver is there to protect you.  That attack beaver could debate Ro Jo. Hell, a single cell amoeba could debate Ro Jo and win.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Centrallapolitics Interview Von Jennings

In case any of our readers missed this interview, watch it now.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Miss Cleo Reads Caveman Carty Fortune

"Go head caller, what ya want sweetness? Who dat, honey? Oh, you be Caveman. Aight, Cavemen what can Miss Cleo do for ya? So ya want to be knowin who ya will endorse for mayor? Me know what me talkin bout. Yur closet is dark n deep. The light in yur closet done burned out. Do ya know what Miss Cleco sayin? Ya have no bulb, sweetness. Ya gonna make da mistake of backin tee boy Roy. Ya gonna try not to, but it's just ya nature sweetness. Try as ya might, ya gonna fall under the spell of tee boy and all dat advertisin he do with ya. Ya gonna wait until about tree days before da election and ya gonna give him ya reluctant endorsement. Miss Cleo can see into ya heart and ya life, baby. Even if tee boy own ya soul, Miss Cleco can see into ya heart and ya life.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

An Open Letter To The To-To

Dear Caveman Carty,

When are you going endorse Mini Mayor?  Just really curious how long you gonna wait and what excuse you gonna give.  We just wondering so we can start making fun of it.

Your servants of the Truth,

Jacques Barack

Road To Nowhere

It's September Twenty-Ten
Good times since can't remember when

The Apocalypse is nigh
But they still ain't finish Versailles

So long Sugarhouse Road Extension
You died from the mayor's inattention

Four years and millions later
The whole thing useless as a crater

Mini Mayor signed with HIP
But them boys gave him the slip

There is no safe levees
Thanks to our town heavies

Rapides Hospital laughed to the bank
And left us with the stank

Rapides pays the mayor's wife
She got a pretty good life

Harry Silver is on the board
We in trouble, oh Lord!

Have mercy on our city
Save us from this pity

We're on the Road To Nowhere

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Mini Mayor Calls Miss Cleo

“Miss Cleo so glad you called. What is it ya wanna know baby? No, mon, dis is Miss Cleo, not CLECO. What is yer question now sweetness?  No, my baby, ya will not grow any more taller.  Next question for Miss Cleo.  Me know what me talkin bout. If you tink of a question you'd like to ask me, remember: not much me haven't seen and not much me haven't heard. So don't be shy. OK, baby, will you win da election is what ya wanna know? I've seen some of the plants in your old apartment and of course they died. When you fall in love first tree weeks everything is lovely. Until you find out that she picks her nose and you pick your toes. Dis is what happen to you, tee boy. You was the finest boat 4 year ago, now ya just a fat goat. Me always say, 'Finish your food on your first plate before you get a second plate of food.' Dat is another way of sayin ya ain't got nothin done in 4 years, tee boy.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Bachelor Season XV Is Auditioning


Dear Producers of The Bachelor,

I want you to know that I am a young, healthy really good looking and put together dude that you should consider for your next season of The Bachelor.  I am also super smart.  Just ask CLECO.  Or Cap One Bank.  I am also newly single, so this brotha is ready to mingle.  My interests are playing mah jong and solitaire and I do like late nights with the ladies.  Champagne and cocaine are the way to a women's heart.  I really like to date women that work under me because I have a god complex, at least that's what my second wife said.  Women who are my equal are too much of a threat to me.  But women are really secondary to me anyway.  My life motto is "Bros before Hoes".  At least I have my priorities straight.  I know that a $100,000 dollar salary is not a lot compared to your other bachelors but I live like a king on the city expense account.  I can have whatever I want whenever I want.  If you want a show with some ratings, give this playa a hollaback.

Chuck the Wild Buck

Monday, September 6, 2010

Monday Mel

It's Monday and that means more advice from Mini Mayor's soulmate, Mel Gibson.

Jacques, I heard about Faith Ford coming filming in your town. I'm still trying to get down there, but with all the mess I'm in right now...anyway, I'm so glad to see you focusing on the film industry. Movies are awesome. You can do or say anything you want in a movie and people believe it. I know that's really what you want. You want to control people. You can't do that as mayor. But movies...oh man! I really sold a bill of goods on Braveheart, but people really love it. You want all the power, money and women that you can handle? Movies, man, movies.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Sunday Revelations

And I heard a great voice out of the temple saying to the seven angels, Go your ways, and pour out the vials of the wrath of God on the earth.

And the first went, and poured out his vial on the earth; and there fell a noisome and grievous sore on the men which had the mark of the beast, and on them which worshipped his image.

And the second angel poured out his vial upon the sea; and it became as the blood of a dead man: and every living soul died in the sea.

- Revelations 16.1-3

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Vote on the Mini Mayor Misery Index

Cleco is still winning.  Guess Cleco always win.  Let's go, people!  Vote!

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Friday, September 3, 2010

Full Moon Will Be Filming Here Soon

Dear Mini Mayor,

This is Hymie Barmitzvah, Montana Fishburne's Manager and CEO of Full Moon Productions. At Full Moon Productions we really do have our pants on the ground! We heard that you are looking for exciting new film opportunities in Alexandria. We are here to help. We'd like to open up temporary production offices in Alexandria. I was thinking about 3 rooms at one of your mid-priced motels would be good. We probably need those 3 rooms for about 8 hours tops. Is it possible that we could rent rooms by the hour? That would be great to help keep our production budget down. Ever since we cut those white lines in the bathroom of that club in LA I'm excited about seeing you and Bill again. Montana is excited about meeting you both, but please tell Bill to watch how much he drinks since you remember how he got a little grabby with the girls last time. Don't worry. I'll have lots of entertainment for you old buddy! Shalom.

Hymie Barmitzvah

It's A Bromance!

Harry + Jacques

Senility loves Misery

I love you boo
Oh yes I do
I can't hold my pooh
And it's all you do.

I wish I were you
Master Kung Fu
I have no clue
What to do without you.

You make me happy too
When I'm feeling blue
You gets a smile or two
From this sad old Jew.