Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Live Blogger: No Briefing Today

Mayor Roy did not hold his hot air balloon festival today.  Said he had a LMA meeting or something.  Prolly finding some way to spend your money while accomplishing nothing.  Just as well, Live Blogger had scheduling conflicts.  But Live Blogger is always concerned about our loyal readers.  So, tonight, we have a little standup:

How are mayors and parking lots alike?
The good ones are always taken.  Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.

What is gross stupidity?
144 mayors in one room.

How many mayors does it take to fix the levee problem?
Who knows? - did it ever happen?

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A.  One - politicians will screw anything.
B.  One - politicians will screw up anything.
C.  Five - one to actually do the screwing and four to listen to him brag about it.

How does Chuck Fowler have a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.

What's the difference between Jacques and municipal bonds?
Bonds mature.

How does a politician save you from drowning?
Take his foot off your head.

How can you tell if Jacques is lying?
He's breathing.

Why don't councilmen have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.

How was Colonel Sanders a typical politician?
All he cared about was legs, breast and thighs.

What do you call a councilman with half a brain?

Thank you and good night everybody!