Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Mazel Tov

Would you trust this man's kitchen?

Mini: (dials cell phone)

FR: (answers phone) Will you and your guest be having 1 or 2 bottles of champagne tonight?

Mini: Is that how you answer the phone? Do I spend that much money at your place?

FR: Mayor, I simply don't know how I would have made it these last 4 years without you.  All the city business you drove to me from Copeland's was a godsend.  The city is my best customer. It didn't hurt my business either when you ran off Brace Godfrey on that Bentley deal.  I mean, it killed downtown, but it saved my place.  If he had gotten his hands on the Bentley it would have killed my boutique.

Mini: Pugh got what was coming to him.  Can you believe he's suing me?  He should be glad that I even sat down at a table with his sorry a**.  Now I'm going to finish him off the way I got rid of Brace Godfrey.  And Herbert Dixon.  I can't believe that guy.  I'm not going to let some part time politicians ruin my plans. It still amazes me how few people have the vision that I have and I'm not going to let a bunch of uneducated people who aren't lawyers tell me how to develop downtown. I know how to develop downtown. Only me. Nobody else could do this.

FR: That's right. Nobody. We are so lucky that you come along at just the right time to save this city.

Mini: I think I'll have 2 bottles. I deserve it and cutting the school crossing guards is saving my budget money.

FR: Yes, sir. 2 bottles. Will your lady friend be joining you tonight?

Mini: Not tonight. I'm bringing in a consultant to figure out what to do about Jacques Barack.

FR: Why a consultant? You've got me.  I'm not just a restaurant owner, I also have a talk show on radio you know.   I have an opinion on everything and I'm usually right.  I mean, I couldn't boil an egg, but I know my politics.

Mini: LOL!  I know!  I got your suck-up a** that job.  Yeah, I really messed up Coco.  OK swami, what would you do about Jacques Barack?

FR: I was thinking that whatever Jacques Barack does, I can do better. If Jacques Barack talks about yard signs, I will too.

Mini: This could work. It could really work. I could have Ken Juneau text you stuff when you're on the air and you could talk about whatever he text you.

FR:  Yeah, so Jacques Barack talked about Mike Marcotte's yardsign so I could talk about Bridgett Brown's yardsign.

Mini:  (giggling like a little man) I think you've got a plan there, swami!  If I could only get you a regular column at the To-To....