Joker - How I Sun Tzu'd Mini Mayor

Has Mini Mayor been talking about Sun Tzu? You know where he heard that first? Yep. Yours truly. I think it was over lunch (that the city paid for) in '07, but it could have been '08. Problem is Mini Mayor doesn't practice The Art of War very well. I should know. I'm a Sun Tzu Black Belt. Here are some excerpts from a book that I have and commentary by yours truly.

Sun Tzu Art of War is all about strategy of tactical positioning leading to triumph, whether in negotiation or in war. The negotiator believes in extensive analysis of the situation before engaging in any challenge and calculations before entering the battleground. In other words, winning without fighting and bending the opponent by strategy.

I'd say I bent Mini Mayor over pretty good.

The victorious negotiator plans for victory before fighting, the vanquished negotiator fights before planning for victory.

That's Mini Mayor. Ready. Fire. Aim.

For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.

All Mini Mayor knows how to do is fight. He is incapable of working with others.

What the ancients called a clever fighter is one who not only wins, but excels in winning with ease.

Did I ever set foot in court? Did anybody from Cleco ever set foot in the Alexandria council chamber? I didn't have to thanks to my Sun Tzu Black Belt.

What is essential in war is victory, not prolonged operations.

How long did Mini Mayor fight that losing battle? We could have settled a long time ago. Just ask John Sharp.

Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness.

Soundlessness? Mini Mayor? LOL!

Another Tweet from Joker to Mini Mayor

Oh, I forgot to tell you earlier that Heffling says your interview is set for next Friday.  I'd hire you without all the dog and pony show, but my boy Heff says we gotta do it by the book.  Heff says you can bring Trey the Parrot, but we ain't hiring him.  Heff said you can bring Kay Cell too if you need a (wink) reference (wink, wink).  And tell Quasi I'm still working on an interview for him.  Gotta tell you not a lot of people can stomach being around that dumb freak.  Why don't you try making him Ho So's problem.  I see that you and that piece of aged bolognie have got really close, so try to get something out of his foul mouth.  I'll be showing off my new license plate in Dallas next Friday, so you're on your own with Heff!

Joker Strikes Again - Madison Unit 3

Hey, Mini Mayor, how do you like the sound of Madison Unit 3?  I know, I know, you like the sound of crisp greenbacks and don't worry, I've got the usual on the way.  Too bad you're a sell out.  You see, I've got the money AND THE POWER.  He he he.  I mean, I've literally got the power.  Mess with the Joker and you might get shock of your life!  Hubba, hubba, hubba!

You think they're going to name a power station after you?  A pot bellied single term Mini Mayor and his grotesque sidekick Quasimodo?  Not hardly my little penguin like friend.  Sure, I can't go out in direct sunlight and people confuse me for an albino, but I've got the money and I've got my name all over the place.  And chicks really dig names and money.  I'm not talkin bout the lame Alexandria round the way girls you got here.   I'm talkin the real deal.  Hot women in Hotlanta, the Metroplex and NYC.  Do you know how impressed the party girls are when you show them pictures of YOUR plant with YOUR name on it?  Well, my little pot bellied friend, that's one thing you'll never know.

Gotta go!  Gotta tell my secretary to change my license plate and cellphone to "CALL MU3".  That way all the blondes that I run into, ahem, can remember me!

Wendy Wednesday!

It's Wednesday, so it must be time for a message from Wendy Roy.

"We had a good week here.  Jacques seems to have accepted that he won't be mayor again and his attitude has really improved.  He even told me he thinks our future is brighter going back into full time practice than if he stayed mayor.  And when he said brighter he got the far off distant look and then kind of a little smile and I heard him mutter yeah, brighter and richer.  Then he got up and started calling Roland Fontaine but he only got Roland's voicemail over and over and over.  So then he tried David Rau and same thing.  So, like an hour and a half later he starts calling Paul Cooper and thank God Paul was there.  Jacques was so relieved to get Paul on the line and then - and Jacques loves to do this - they started talking about all the plans for running the downtown hotels.  It's like it puts Jacques in another room in Jacques World and he really LOVES talking about all of the legal help that HIP is going to need and how Jacques will be the only person who will be able to help them.  Jacques gets more excited about these phone calls than the ones between him and Mike Madison.  I guess the legal help that HIP will need from Jacques is more expensive than the legal help that Cleco will need from Jacques.  Anyway, it doesn't matter as long as everything is good in Jacques World."

Joker Shout Out to Jacques

Woot!  There it is!  Woot!  There it is!  Hey, Jacques, you takin' notes, lil buddy?  Now that's how you do it!  Just takin a break from all the party up here to give you shout out.  Listen, they have the best Ukrainian call girls up here.  A lot better than the Albanian chicks in Dallas, but they're a little more uptight if you know what I mean.  What, you expect Joker to like it straight up?  What happens in New York stays in New York.  That's what the lady I'm traveling with told me and she is a freak.  I think she wanted some Joker action.  I heard she likes a lot of action, but Joker only has eyes for hotties.  When you got the cash that Joker has, you don't waste time on the notties.

Did you see that gavel I brought down on the close?  Jacques, it was bigger than you!  I bet you never seen a gavel that big.  All your days in court.  Never seen super-sized gavel.  I got to meet Jim Cramer too and he said Cleco was a buy.  Two thumbs up.  Way up!  This is how you  party.  Not eating overcooked little crawfish at that crappy little dive with the dumpster right next to the side entrance.  Did you see that smile I had on my face the whole time?  Thank you, Ekaterina!  I've got her number if your ever this way, but I don't think you could afford $5000 a night.

And it wasn't just Ekaterina.  The guy with the NYSE said I was awesome.  I watched myself later and I admit I did look pretty awesome.  I have a really good smile.  A lot better than your lately invisible self.  What's the matter, you in hiding since Joker put the beat down on your little ***?  Man, you got all of those budget problems and havin to cut programs and I'm just over here rollin in the dough and partying at the NYSE.  Did you see what I made last year?  Life's a bitch ain't it?  Don't worry, I'm gonna have Crowell and Ratcliff sending you checks for your "campaign" whatever that is.  It looks too obvious if the money comes from Cleco.  Oops!  The escort service is on the other line.  Later!

A Message From the Joker

Hey, gang, Joker here.  Just wanted to say THANK YOU to my good friend Jacques and his little buddies on the council.  I hope they all got their white envelopes.  They are the best government money can buy.   Well, except for this guy.

Can someone tell him to lighten up?  Guess he didn't like that dead fish I sent him last week.  Hey, friend, government is not about helping people, its about helping yourself.  Just ask Jacques.

This message brought to you by:

WE OWN WHAT'S LEFT OF ALEXANDRIA

Bienvenue! Part Deux! (Removed after Peer Review)

Somebody was having too much fun last night.  Don't give the keys to your car to a 15 year old.

Boo-Yah! Cleco Already Bragging

Looks like Mike Madison moonwalked all over Jacques face.  Check out page 124 of Cleco's report.

City of Alexandria Settlement 

February 23, 2010, the Alexandria City Council approved a settlement of the case which included a $3.0 million litigation expense reimbursement to the City and a new five-year, energy-only power supply agreement. The supply agreement may be extended, at Cleco Power’s option, for two additional one-year terms. If the City performs its obligations under the new power supply agreement, then Cleco will pay a one-time $6.5 million performance bonus at the end of the five-year term to the City.  The court dismissed the case with prejudice on February 24, 2010.

A Belated Bienvenue!

Now that the Mayor and Cleco have settled their differences, we thought it appropriate to say hello to our Cleco neighbors and invite them to spend some of their big earnings in our fine city.  Everyone shown here, except for Russell Davis, are Alexandria residents.  Maybe you've seen them around town?  If not, they were probably spending their money in Dallas, Lafayette or New Orleans.  If you do see them around town, we invite you to offer a welcoming hand and get to know them better.

This is Mike Madison, Cleco's chief executive officer:

Mike joined Cleco in 2003.  Cleco shareholders have given Mr. Madison over 100,000 shares of Cleco stock.  He made $2,758,911 in 2008.  He lives in a big house in Tennyson Oaks.


This is Dilek Samil, Cleco Power's chief operating officer:

Dilek joined Cleco in 2001.  Cleco shareholders have give Ms. Samil over 70,000 shares of Cleco stock.  She made $1,589,494 in 2008.  She lives in a big house down the road from Mr. Madison.


This is Russell Davis, Cleco's chief accounting officer:

Russell joined Cleco in 2000.  Cleco shareholders have given Mr. Davis over 33,000 shares of Cleco stock.  He made $844,324 in 2008.  He lives in a big house in Fairway East.


This is George Bausewine, Cleco's senior vice president of corporate services:

Cleco charholders have given Mr. Bausewine over 42,000 shares of Cleco stock.  He made $870,187 in 2008.  He lives in a big house in West Pointe.


This is William Fontenot, Cleco's vice president of regulated generation development:

His father was a Cleco executive.  Bill joined Cleco in 1986.  Cleco shareholders have given Mr. Fontenot over 42,000 shares of Cleco stock.  He made $654,195 in 2008.  He lives in a big house in a gated community.


This is Alexandria's Mini Mayor:

Alexandrians foolishly elected him in 2006 and he makes a base salary of about $100,000 per year.  He lives in a big house in the Garden District.  He drives a $60,000 BMW.  He is currently day dreaming of applying for a Cleco attorney position once he leaves office this December.