Wendy Wednesday

It's Wednesday, so it must be time for a message from Wendy Roy.

"Hey guys, this is still "Mindy", Wendy's friend.  Wendy's been real busy with the new baby and all.  This has been a stressful time for poor Wendy.  I mean, being pregnant ain't easy and being married to Jacques ain't easy either.  The fundraiser for Jacques that she worked on didn't go well and everybody knew and then Jacques Barack posted her phone number on the website and you know the rest.  And all this while she was carrying Jacques baby and people been talkin bout Jacques and Kay and you know the rest.  And Jacques bid to be the Democratic nominee against Rodney Alexander failed and you know the rest.  And Jacques poll numbers have been real bad and now this David Pugh thing and you know the rest.  It all came to a head when Ken showed up in the delivery room and suggested that Jacques consider naming the baby Ken.  He didn't say it with a chuckle or anything.  He just had that same straight face he always has with those tinted pervert glasses he wears.  I swear he's always looking at my boobs!  Anyway, Ken had this whole your first born belongs to me attitude and Jacques was listening to Ken like Ken was a god and Jacques was just nodding while Ken was talking and Wendy finally freaked out and started yelling that it was her baby and they both need to leave now and Jacques could just go s*** Ken's d*** somewhere else cause she didn't want to watch and you know the rest."

Will He Or Won't He?

The latest word is that Mini Mayor is going to reluctantly register his campaign for mayor. Believe us, Mini Mayor don't want to run, but it's all about saving face at this point.  Is that smirk worth saving?   Why don't you show Mini Mayor what you think of him but voting in our polls to the right.

Jacques Barack Is Extending The Polls

Qualifying for the mayor's race starts tomorrow and goes until Friday.  We're having so much fun with this that we've decided to extend the poll one more day.  If you haven't already voted (and we know there is a lot of readers not voting), then this is your time.  Vote!

Fetal Freddy Loves Russian Roulette

We did not know that Wendy Roy has pregnant, but now we do thanks to the babbling blogger.  You broke rule number one - don't give your opponent any ammunition.  Let's get one thing straight, Fetal Freddy, this is politics.  You and Mini Mayor have been passing out ammunition faster than Mini Mayor is spending SPARC money.  Politics, Fetal Freddy.  Politics isn't a game for little boys/girls and babbling idiots.  If Mini Mayor was chicken s**t enough to have his wife circulate a letter at work asking her Rapides Regional office cronies to donate money to Mini Mayor's campaign, then Mini Mayor's wife is part of his political machine.  If Mini Mayor has a political website with a picture of his family, then his family are fair game.  If Mini Mayor's executive whatever or chief operating officer or chief of staff and whatever else she may do in the line of duty (wink, wink) is making political fundraiser calls on city time and using a city phone and publishing that city phone as part of her unlawful solicitations, then Kay Cell is part of Mini Mayor's political machine.  Anyone who is part of Mini Mayor's political machine is subject to political speech and some political speech is satire.  We do a lot of satire here along with real news that the Caveman Carty's To-To wouldn't dare to print for fear of a tongue lashing from Mini Mayor.

Since Mini Mayor is obviously unethical and a pathological liar, it's time voters began to ask themselves what Von Jennings could have done that was so bad?  Have ya'll considered that, with the mayor's approval, she may have had a flexible work schedule?  Kay Cell said she was at "lunch" at 2 o'clock in the afternoon.  Have anyone seen the long lunches that Chuck Johnson and Mike Marcotte take?  And why is the city taxpayers paying for ALL of Chuck Johnson's lunches?  Anybody who thinks Von Jennings wasn't doing her job is uninformed.  Mini Mayor fired Von Jennings for DOING her job.  Mini Mayor fired Von Jennings because she wouldn't lie for Mini Mayor.  Really, people, is it that hard to believe after what you have seen and heard from Mini Mayor over the last year?  What Mini Mayor has lied about the Cleco deal?  What Mini Mayor has lied about the Bentley deal?  What Mini Mayor has lied about film studios and Full Moon Productions?  What Mini Mayor has lied about the levee problems?  Mini Mayor lied about Von Jennings, too, and it's time everybody admitted that.

Fetal Freddy Has An Internet Death Wish

About a month ago, we didn't know who Fetal Freddy was.  Then this little lame loser decided to use the same tactics on our poll that he normally uses on the To-To.  Listen you little lame cyberpunk, that may work under Caveman Carty, but not here.  We addressed the problem and promptly moved on.  But the little lame loser just couldn't leave well enough alone.   So, it's on.  And this time it's over when we say its over.  We just wanted to remind Fetal Freddy that he started it.  Our contributors are submitting future posts and JB readers can expect a lot fun.  A lot of informative fun.  And Mini Mayor can thank Fetal Freddy for that.  We know that Fetal Freddy is going to cry that Jacques Barack is attacking him, but that's because Fetal Freddy is not a grown adult (see pic above).  He's a little trust fund punk thats been taken care of his entire life.  The type of kid who thinks he can play in traffic with no consequences.  He thinks he can shoot at people and they won't shoot back.  Welcome to the real world, son.

David Pugh Is Spanking Mini Mayor

David Pugh says

"Watch forever, I never get tired of spanking Mini Mayor"

People, we still got 2 days left in our poll and David Pugh is laying it on Mini Mayor.  Haven't voted yet?  It's time to send your message to Mini Mayor.  Tell him how much you and your friends are looking forward to saying goodbye and good riddance.  Check out the  interim numbers.

I prefer the lying unethical paranoid Mini Mayor.	7 (14%)
I prefer David Pugh.	41 (85%)

Change your vote

Votes so far: 48
Days left to vote: 2 

Even Ro Jo is whipping the mayor like Mike Tyson on Opie Cunningham.

I prefer the lying unethical paranoid Mini Mayor.	10 (34%)
the dumb as Charlie Sheen Robo Ro Jo.	19 (65%)

Change your vote

Votes so far: 29
Days left to vote: 2 

Independence Day

Today is Independence Day.  The krewe here at Jacques Barack wish you a happy one to enjoy with friends and family.  We also want you to remember the hard work that it took to make this country.  We don't enjoy our freedoms because of some freak accident.  We had to work for these freedoms.  And some of us weren't even equal citizens on this day.  It took another century before some Americans could enjoy their freedoms.  It we want a better Alexandria, we have to work for it.  It doesn't just happen.  If you have not already, take a first step today and vote in our polls.  You owe it to your city.