Mini Mayor's Fortune Cookie Tonight

Fortune cookie say Mini Mayor boredom will only be exceeded by his arrogance tonight.

Confucius Favorite Sun Tzu Qoutes

Tired of Sun Tzu yet? Confucius say now is time to laugh at Mini Mayor and his arrogant Sun Tzu self. It would be bombdiggity if Mini Mayor would pop off a few of these Sun Tzus (for more laughs - some of it NC-17, check out the Uncyclopedia page on Sun Tzu:

• "Know your Sun-Tzu quotes. Also, know your Sun-Tzu per-seat licensing strategy, and your Sun-Tzu support and maintenance plan."

• "Know what your enemies are afraid of. They will retreat, and you will destroy them without fighting any lawsuits."

• "There are only five musical notes. Those who say there are actually twelve notes in an octave are simply trying to mess with your head."

• "Know your enemy, know yourself, know your girlfriend's ex-con husband's abusive temperament, know his work schedule, and most importantly know the fastest way to get the hell out of there if he decides to come home early."

• "What does not kill you will hurt a lot."

• Wise is the man that knows when to fight. Wiser is the man that knows when to just shut the f*** up."

• "Keep your friends close, but keep your M&M's closer."

• "To subdue the enemy by sticking them with a "kick me" note is the acme of skill. Unless they pull out a yo momma insult, then cap 'em."

• "Always remember, pikemen defeat horsemen, but archers defeat pikemen."

• "For one to be successful in war, one must yell 'BOOM HEADSHOT' every time one kills an enemy".

• The first one... that was the RPG, right? I guess that was pretty good, for those days. But then the second one, the RTS that was awesome. But C&C beats it hands down, beautiful stuff. Then of course you had the third one, which was rendered realtime, but the cinematics... totally awesome. And now they have that whole MMORPG thing going, that looks pretty cool too, if you ask me." (on the Art of Warcraft and being a lifeless nerd in his parents basement)

• "A full-house beats a flush. A sword beats a full-house."

• "Victory cannot be achieved by swanning about and reciting bad poetry, unless you are fighting an enemy that gives up or simply dies outright upon being exposed to swanning and bad poetry."

• "If your enemy wins the war, you did not. Or, more likely, you were probably reading a copy of my book that you didn't pay for."

• "You are weak. Do you know why you are weak? It is because you lack... Skittles."

For Our Friends in Tasmania

If Jacques Barack were an Aussie, what names would we give The Little Man Who Craves Adulation? Our friends from Tasmania probably had something local in mind.

Mini Mayor Is Well Known Down Under

Here is a post from Tuesday about Jacques Barack's international reach.  What we didn't tell you in that post was how our Aussie friends found us.  Check out the StatCounter info below (we partially crossed out the IP address).  Our friends down under put in a search phrase for "person who craves adulation".  And guess what they found?  A post on Mini Mayor.  Seriously, people, we can't make this stuff up.

VISITOR ANALYSIS
Search Engine Phrase	person who craves adulation
Search Engine Name	Google
Search Engine Host	www.google.com.au
Host Name
IP Address	147.xx.x.xxx [Label IP Address]
Country	Australia
Region	Tasmania
City	Kingston
ISP	Australian Government Antarctic Division

Jacques Barack Is International

We get some pretty fly visitors and all, but the Australian Government Antarctic Division? Even Eskimos can't resist the pleasures of Jacques Barack. We admit this collaboration has been a lot of work, but its been a lot of fun too. G'day mates and if y'all have anything to say to the good folks in Central Louisiana, just let us know.

Location: IP Address: Entry Page: Exit Page: Referring URL:

Kingston, Tasmania, Australia Australian Government Antarctic Division (147.xx.x.xxx) [Label IP Address] jacquesbarack.blogspot.com/2010/06/reader-mail-if-it-walks-like-duck.html jacquesbarack.blogspot.com/2010/06/reader-mail-if-it-walks-like-duck.html www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=14&ved=0CB0QFjADOAo&url=