A PSA From Laurence Fishburne

Most of you will remember me as Morpheus from The Matrix. I want to talk to you today about Evil. Evil in all it's incarnations. It is all around us people. We are all connected and our actions have an effect on everyone around us. Have you ever heard of the Butterfly Effect? It's real. Every time you lie, you let Evil into your heart and you pass that Evil onto others. Before you know it, your 18 year old daughter is making porn tapes and you can't buy all of them off the market. It's hell people. We must stop this. We must fight Evil in all its forms, whether it's a paid city blogger spreading lies or a mayor who cannot tell the truth. If we continue to sit by quietly and let these lies pass, pretty soon all our daughters will be making porn tapes.

Mazel Tov

Would you trust this man's kitchen?

Mini: (dials cell phone)

FR: (answers phone) Will you and your guest be having 1 or 2 bottles of champagne tonight?

Mini: Is that how you answer the phone? Do I spend that much money at your place?

FR: Mayor, I simply don't know how I would have made it these last 4 years without you.  All the city business you drove to me from Copeland's was a godsend.  The city is my best customer. It didn't hurt my business either when you ran off Brace Godfrey on that Bentley deal.  I mean, it killed downtown, but it saved my place.  If he had gotten his hands on the Bentley it would have killed my boutique.

Mini: Pugh got what was coming to him.  Can you believe he's suing me?  He should be glad that I even sat down at a table with his sorry a**.  Now I'm going to finish him off the way I got rid of Brace Godfrey.  And Herbert Dixon.  I can't believe that guy.  I'm not going to let some part time politicians ruin my plans. It still amazes me how few people have the vision that I have and I'm not going to let a bunch of uneducated people who aren't lawyers tell me how to develop downtown. I know how to develop downtown. Only me. Nobody else could do this.

FR: That's right. Nobody. We are so lucky that you come along at just the right time to save this city.

Mini: I think I'll have 2 bottles. I deserve it and cutting the school crossing guards is saving my budget money.

FR: Yes, sir. 2 bottles. Will your lady friend be joining you tonight?

Mini: Not tonight. I'm bringing in a consultant to figure out what to do about Jacques Barack.

FR: Why a consultant? You've got me.  I'm not just a restaurant owner, I also have a talk show on radio you know.   I have an opinion on everything and I'm usually right.  I mean, I couldn't boil an egg, but I know my politics.

Mini: LOL!  I know!  I got your suck-up a** that job.  Yeah, I really messed up Coco.  OK swami, what would you do about Jacques Barack?

FR: I was thinking that whatever Jacques Barack does, I can do better. If Jacques Barack talks about yard signs, I will too.

Mini: This could work. It could really work. I could have Ken Juneau text you stuff when you're on the air and you could talk about whatever he text you.

FR:  Yeah, so Jacques Barack talked about Mike Marcotte's yardsign so I could talk about Bridgett Brown's yardsign.

Mini:  (giggling like a little man) I think you've got a plan there, swami!  If I could only get you a regular column at the To-To....